bode blog

I've moved...

2009-06-09T14:57:00.001-05:00

some of you are missing.

so this is just a reminder that i've moved. come stop by for a visit!

change your feeds, update your reader and check a sister out ;0)

BIG news

2009-06-01T14:15:00.001-05:00

while i wish the big news would have something to do with a new job, but since it doesn't we'll cut the crap and i will just let you know that i've moved.

follow me....

see you soon!

the sweet sound of responsibility.

2009-05-29T23:52:00.003-05:00

by sweet sound, i mean the sounds of torture. like staring at the last piece of forbidden cheesecake just after brushing your teeth before bed.

im laying in bed trying to sleep because i have to be awake at 6 am on a saturday. yes thats right i said it. 6 am SATURDAY. alas, my neighbors are outside playing bags, cornhole, sacks, whatever silly name you can think of to describe a drinking/tailgating game with a bean bag toss. secretly, albeit not that secret since im blogging about it, i want to be outside playing and downing one with the best of them.* instead i have the words to HELLO DOLLY on repeat in my head like its some sort of terrible Sprite Commercial** fact of the matter is i did a little late-spring cleaning this afternoon between jobs, with Hello Dolly in the DVD player. everything is better with streisand.

the real dilemma at hand is the question of my brother's graduation party. i am...triple booked. both jobs need me and then theres the party. so the day looks like this....Dr's office seminar from 8 am to 5pm. party from 11am-6pm and restaurant from 4-11 pm. today i tried to explain to the Dr that i had my brothers graduation party. the discussion went somewhat like this:

Bodelou: so, my brother's graduation party falls on the same day of the seminar
Dr: oh really. well, you can go for some of it right?
BL: well, i dont know how that will work, because i am also supposed to work at the restaurant.
Dr. well you could always just call off of the restaurant and go back and forth between the party and the seminar right?
BL: not sure, will have to see
Dr: i mean they are only 45 minutes away from eachother. its doable.
BL: yeah, (because i want to spend my day going back and forth....for a measly $14/hr)

so that clearly didnt go over so well. I am just going to pray that everything works out so i wont be killed/fired/beaten to death with a chicken drumstick by my brother or boss or coworkers. I will have to get that damn job i interviewed for last week put in my ~~two week~~ eight day notice and say peace out, suckas. ha. easier said than done.

pst. talked to friend mentioned in last post. apparently he is an avid Bode Blog reader. oy. what a pickle. apologies went all the way around, kinda. and things are back to normal, kinda. still miffed by it, but i will let it ROLLLL off my back, cause thats just how bode does it.

*i play better if my free hand is balanced on my hip OR even better with a cocktail
**has anyone seen the new weird sprite commercial where the people explode into water?

im cheating.

2009-05-29T12:52:00.004-05:00

im supposed to be working, but i'm taking part in the big "no-no" that is free-for-all-web-surfing. and oh look i stumbled upon my own blog. hopefully the repercussions are not too bad. although maybe i am purposely trying to get into trouble. hehe

im at a real life loss for words today. i know what you're thinking, you're blogging, how is that a loss for words? well. i guess it is just that i am out of words to SPEAK not think/type/blog. I am so far behind in all areas of life these days and i really have nobody to blame but myself. HOWEVER, it bothers me IMMENSELY when people who have limited knowledge of my life and situation have more than two cents to say about what i do with my life. the worst is when it comes from someone you love.

I got into a conversation with a close friend about all of these things a few days ago when it came up that i went to great america on monday, the day before my interview. Apparently I spend too much time doing nothing or things that won't get me anywhere. I have become selfish and never make sacrifices for anyone but myself. Im lazy and need to get my act together.

I sat there stunned and speechless. What do you say to that?

Needless to say i quickly ended the conversation. Flustered and shocked by the whole thing. I was driving home at the time and the closer I got to home the more unnerved i became. I was completely blindsided and as each second passed i felt like i had been runover by a cement truck, then walked all over by a herd of cattle.

I work six to seven days a week. i work hours when everyone is out playing and enjoying their weekends. I work on holidays, I miss time with my family, my dog, my friends. I do not spend my time as leisurely as you may think. Sure I have a few hours off in the afternoons and normally i spend it paying bills, working out, doing laundry and walking the dog. I do not get to go away for the weekend, i do not get to go out for drinks with friends and catch up. For crying out loud I can't even sign up my dog up for an obedience class because my schedule will not permit it. All this means that the days i do have off are spent enjoying myself. doing what makes me happy. how dare someone judge that.

Honestly, don't read this as a complaint about how "terrible" my life is. because frankly, its not. i just find it unfair to be judged when i work my ass off to "just make it." I take credit for not being where it is i want to be emotionally, professionally, socially, mentally. I can't blame anyone but myself for being too scared to break up with P or too nervous to be honest with myself about my career, (or too comfortable w/both of these) or too nice to move out of the place im living and back home to save money or too lazy to finish remodling my bathroom. I will say however, that I have not felt myself in a long time. Two years, if you want to be specific. Post-college my life was turned literally upside down and I coped with it for awhile, but really, I didn't give myself the time that I needed. Instead I jumped into work, moved out of state, and on my own and merely covered up something that needed to be fixed. there i go making excuses. still everything suffers.

This friend called yesterday three times. I can't find it to call them back, but the whole situation has been eating at me.

If someone said this to you, how would you react? advice, anyone?

updates on that interview next time.

*although deep down we know that not everyone is put together. who judges that anyway?

out of nowhere

2009-05-27T19:25:00.003-05:00

im not in a bad mood today, i swear. just maybe its that time of the month.

but honest to god, i think i have encountered all of my pet peeves today.

a short list...

1. people misprouncing things. it makes my skin crawl when i hear people say ridiculous things. and for that reason i have to share this video, via the Real Housewives of NYC. my theory, if you don't know what it means or how to say it, DONT.

ka-dooze. bleh.

2. toilet paper on the stand the wrong way. it has to come from the top. i dont know why but it does. think of a nice hotel. they make that pretty little triangle thing on the top. NOT the bottom.

3. leaving your animal outside in the rain. our neighbors like to leave their monstrous chocolate lab outside a majority of the time. and by majority i mean all day. he barks and whines. and it is about ten times louder than a woody-sized bark or whine. ugh. why have an animal if you don't care for it? why have a pet if you're not an animal person? do you know people who think they are animal people but really aren't? how do u tell someone that?

4. frozen vegetables. it doesnt matter how you cook 'em they just are no good. bleh.

what are you're pet peeves, what gets your goat and drives you INSANE?

despite all of these annoyances it was a good day. a long good day. and the weekend, it too was a long good weekend. trip to six flags and family BBQ included. can't get better than a genuine holiday weekend. and lets be honest when do i EVER get so lucky?

asking your advice

2009-05-22T14:11:00.002-05:00

i am shamelessly sitting on my couch waiting for work to give me a call and tell me to go ahead and have the night off. yesterday i was told i was sure to be free, but now 16 minutes past the time i should have heard from them by my chances are looking bleak.

with the thought of employment on the mind i have something to ask of my readers.

i know the weekend is slow for the blog world. especially a holiday weekend, but I hope that you all find this before Tuesday.

I was finally called back by a job i applied for a few weeks ago. Or maybe it was months.. I scored an interview for Tuesday afternoon. They want, like most potential employers, extra copies of my resume and writing samples.

The problem I am having is that none of my writing samples seem relevant to the prospective job. what to do? Do I write new samples, give them the old and irrelevant ones, or ask for a prompt?

i know there are some writers out there who read my blog, so help a sister out. Or all you geniuses could just give me your samples ;) i kid, i kid.

embarassing things i am admitting to the internet

2009-05-20T22:33:00.002-05:00

-i am truly addicted to musical theatre, like woah. last night at target i sat and pondered which movie to buy for at least twenty minutes. Hello Dolly, Cabaret or Viactor Victoria.
-i bought mariah carey's Emanicaption of Mimi (and freakin' LOVED IT) and it makes me remember the times i danced around my bedroom in my dance clothes to Mariah Carey using the gold knobs from the end of my bed posts as a microphone. i was truly a diva ....dont worry cuz you'll always be my baby.....
-i have a budding green thumb and i call my plants my children. shit they're living right?
-i am totally jealous of roomie who has a full summer. sadly. i do not, unless work counts as fulltwitter.com. oh to have two days off in a row from both jobs! oh wait, this sunday and monday. holy wow.
- my laundry must smell just right. to do this i require the same brand detergent, fabric softner and dryer sheets. am i the only freak? (pst. it pains me that last time my detergent wasnt on sale so my clothes are slightly off right now.)
- sometimes i watch the mets play baseball on my phone. my crappy enV phone.

things i think about when i should be going to bed

2009-05-19T00:09:00.002-05:00

thanks for the encouragement/advice with the jillian michael's 30 days or Die video. much appreciated. i have kept up with it and truly "feel the burn" and its surprisingly put me in a freakin' great mood ever since i started.

i am perturbed at the way my tomato plant is growing, or should i say dying. poor thing is struggling. he was doing fine when he was potted and inside, now that ive transplanted him and his spreading limbs to the yard hes taken a turn for the worse. think oregon trail style. i think he may have cholera. if things dont improve after this week, i will for sure by putting back in the pot and permanently keeping him inside. i am determined to have an heirloom tomato caprese salad before the summer is over. with homegrown tomatos, dammit. any tomato growing advice?

i am so lucky to have the friends ive got! this weekend even though i spent a majority of my time working (which is how i will spend this weekend as well) i had a few opportunities to hang with some of great people. saturday i had a lunch date with a gal pal from work. the one i mentioned before who is a diamond in the rough. we went to a great little place for Tapas, that was inexpensive and delicious. we had, once again, a really good conversation. it is nice to have someone to actually talk to who understands, probably more than i know, where i am coming from and what i am going through in the broader scale of my life. it is nice to have found someone who i can be myself around. sometimes life seems to be stuck in between gears and quite frankly i just haven't really felt myself for about 2 years. its nice to acknowledge this, share it and have someone completely understand this. not to mention to have someone who can offer advice on how to fix this. i <3 her, mucho. post work on saturday, P and i met up with some of P's friends who i have shamelessly adopted as my own. they are a down-to-earth bunch who share a similar sense of humor. can't beat it. most importantly, it was the first fire of the season. for those city readers out there who lack the foliage and yardage that we have out here in suburbia, bonfires are key to keeping us happy and most importantly for you, away from your city hangouts ;) saturday and sunday night i found myself around a campfire in someone's backyard, drinking wine, making smores reminiscent of my girl scout days

if you have never covered your chocolate chip cookies with peanut butter, you are missing out on a delicious snack.

the fact that michael Vick will be living at home starting tomorrow makes me irritated. the fact that certain places are talking about which team would be interested in him playing football again makes me sick to my stomach. barf.

i miss college. not the college life, but the sitting in class and learning life. i think my brain is bored. studying for the GRE should change this, i hope. I will be looking into setting GRE date next week. advice?

bandwagon jumping (followed by a quick crash into a wall)

2009-05-16T00:41:00.005-05:00

i have joined the likes of Alexa, Jamie, Nilsa, Molly, Casey, Michelle, Nicole Antoinette, Island Girl and many other IRL friends. I gave in. I got off my ass, went to Target and picked up a copy of my home girl Jillian Micheals and her shredfest.

I settled into my living room and Nikes, all ready to prove to myself to be made of steel. I was all excited to have cute workout pants on and put that yoga mat and weights to good use. i contemplated hooking my ipod up to the stereo and ignoring her banter.

i waded through the first two days of pushups, jumping jacks and squats.

then it hit me. my arms hurt, my legs hurt, my boobs hurt, my abs hurt, shit my KNEES hurt. I must be doing something wrong for such simple exercises to hurt so bad. or the more likely possibility.. im really out of shape. shhh....

while i really told myself i was going to do it EVERYDAY for thirty days, i just dont know if its fesible. i may not be able to lift trays at work, or make it up the stairs to the bathroom. i may not be able to walk my dog or water my tomato plant. or i may die. i may die in my sleep from kicking my own ass earlier in the day.

I suppose it wouldnt work if i don't do it every day thought, right? however, speaking, don't your muscles and body need a day to recover? i think saturday may be my new official day of "workout rest"

ross and rachel.

2009-05-14T00:47:00.004-05:00

its about 1255 am. and i am sitting in my room on my "friday night*"P is at his house and theres a tornado watch for the area. when i got home i decided to stay tuned to the television (just in case of torando) while i settled in for the night. instead i found the series finale of friends playing on wgn or some equivalent.

i never watched friends when it was on tv. i never paid much attention to the never ending love saga that is rachel and ross, nor did i follow the weight fluctuations in chandler, (that we all now know were due to his addiction to alcohol and Vicodin) i didn't know much about Central Perk or the Smelly Cat song. i never saw Courtney Cox in a fat suit, i certainly never cared about a guy named Joey, i didn't know anyone named Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, nobody told me you had to pee on a jellyfish sting to eliminate the pain and i had no idea that the body bags on law and order were paid actors.

I'm a rerun girl, through and through. like sex and the city, i never fell in love with one of TVs most favorite friends until it was long gone from the weekly schedule. instead i got my doses daily, multiple times, (with food and plenty of cosmos....errrr......water) sometimes multiple times in one day, but completely out of order. but until this day, this moment, ive never seen the last episode. how fitting it really was.

i have yet to mention it, but last week or the week before, i bought a plane ticket to new york. FINALLY. ive been talking about it forever. literally since i long before i started blogging (*because yes i haven't had a vacation in almost two years....) and half of my "friends" will be there. while i have many good groups of friends and best friends scattered here and there(some just across the hall,) these "friends" are my college family. even though we only spent a total of one semester together (all of us at once, several stayed beyond that, came and went) they are like blood and i cant wait to see them. the trick here is that while i am rachel** my ex is my ross. i haven't told him yet i will be in town, although i suspect he already knows. *** anyhow, after seeing the end of the series tonite and seeing that happy ending it makes me somewhat sick in my stomach. i hate the way tv builds you up, makes you relate to a character and the situations the character goes through only to come up with some happy ending in our heads that we all know wouldn't happen in real life. why cant we find a happy ending outside of what is predictable? wait, im sure that does happen. why can't we wish for a happy ending outside of what is predictable? like i said, before tonite i never saw the last episode, but i KNEW ross and rachel ended up together. they wouldnt end the series any other way. but frankly, life doesnt happen like that.

a regular of ours was at the bar tonite at work. my friend K, the new co-worker, the one i told you i knew i would be friends with, she was bartending and talking about her trip to NY and i was talking about mine, the regular started telling us about how his daughter just broke up with her "first love" and how hard it was for her. before i knew it i blurted out i would probably be seeing mine while in NYC. he told me the Ex would reel me in and do the nasty, take advantage of me and leave me for dead (emotionally.) In fact, this regular of ours BET MONEY ON IT. i laughed it off, insisted it wouldn't happen. and while i insisted i wouldn't partake in any shenanigans****, really i was only telling myself (and everyone) else this so as not to get my hopes up. Shows like Friends, and Sex and the City for that matter leave you to believe in happy endings with the one who (almost)"got away." i have to remind myself sometimes that life is a little more real, a little less idealistic, more factual, injust yet amazingly so and simply not as fairytale as some hollywood producer wants us to believe. for god's sake, that show wasn't even filmed in NYC.

*yep! I dont work tomorrow....AT ALL!
**sure every girl wishes she was jennifer aniston, i dont mean it literally, just figuratively
***he lives there, for those playing catch up, we had a two year long distance relationship while i lived in n. carolina and he in NY. he cheated on me and left me about a month before i was supposed to move to NY with him...oy vey. we are still so-so friends, but bluntly put, i still would jump his bones ;)
****lets not forget i AM in a relationship and i would absolutely under no circumstances cheat on someone, espically after going through what i went through.

bad luck, circumstance and life in general.

2009-05-12T13:58:00.004-05:00

sometimes life just isnt always blog-worthy.

sometimes my life is just not blog worthy...

a good friend of my mothers was diagnosed with breast cancer a month or so ago. sadly, she had hodgkins as a child so radiation and chemotherapy simply will not work. a mother of a two year old, she will have to have a double masectomy this weekend in chicago. as if her life couldn't be more chaotic, she just started a new job in chicago, and she commutes from st. joe michigan and her sister has cancer with life expectancy of only two months.

a good friend of mine from work is going through fertility treatment, that thus far has gone unsuccessful. her previous doctor was not accurate in a diagnosis, which has cost her valuable time and money to correct. if she doesn't become pregnant by the end of this year, it won't happen.

the sister of a friend of mine from HS suffered a heart attack in march. 20 years old. she technically was brain dead for a minute or so and is still feeling the reprecussions. I'm not entirely up to date on her condition, but i know she has limited mobility and activity. (a link to a facebook group)

another friend of mine's mother suffered a similar situation about a month ago, but at the age of 69. when she went into to the hospital they found cancer and has to have surgery next week. her condition has worsened and the cause of her seizure/heart attack is yet to be determined. she is basically in a coma.

i hate that this entry is so depressing. its not meant to bring you down, but to ask for your prayers for all of these women and their families.

my last year of college i went to hear the great Maya Angelou speak at a small university not too far from where i went to school. an amazing experience, but one of the best stories she told was how she taught one man to read and how later in her life she encountered over a hundred people who told her how this one man had changed their lives. they thanked her for her influence on him back when she wasn't even old enough to drive. think about the impact one persons life has on another. please pray that these women live to provide more moments of influence on those around them. we all have to remind ourselves that new life and experience ripples from those living around us. what a different day we would see without them.

the time my dog unknowingly took an IQ test....and failed

2009-05-08T15:19:00.003-05:00

This is the canine genius.

this is woody.

these two things are not compatible.

i got woody a new toy not too long ago. the name: Canine Genius. It was clearly taunting me to prove it wrong, just by the name, but I like my dog, was too dense to pick up on the universe's jab at our intelligence.

The maker of the toy boasts "our toys inspire your the genius in your dog to come out and play!" the point of the toy, is similar to the kong in that you put treats or food in the toy (through the skinny end) and your dog will stay busy trying to weasel the food out. I thought to myself, what a great way to teach Woody to eat slow. If i hadn't mentioned before, Woody is notorious in these parts for scarfing down his food in less than 30 seconds then immediately drinking his entire bowl of water as fast as possible, without taking breaths, then coughing until he is blue in the face. The Canine Genius seemed like the perfect way to combat Woody's habits and keep him out of Over Eaters Annonymous.

The first few tries went well, other than actually eating the nub of the canine genius once the food was gone. But it took a good thirty to forty five minutes for him to successful get to an empty toy. He ate slow and got out a ton of useless energy. It seemed too good to be true.

Last Thursday i filled the genius with Woody's Dinner and settled down to catch up on some DVR recording of Law and Order SVU (i have to distract him during the SVU or he gets emotional...) About forty minutes passes and I am happy to see that he is still under the coffee table enjoying the thrills of the genius. A few minutes later he pounces on the couch, Canine Genius in his mouth. I nudge him towards the edge of the couch, as I am not too keen on him snacking on the couch. He jumps back up, the dinner dispenser still in his mouth. This time I move to take the toy out of his mouth and throw it to get him off the furniture again. As i reach for the toy, he yelps in pain.

My *special* dog got his mouth stuck inside the canine genius. The snacks you provide are supposed to come out of the X on the sides of the toy when the dog squeezes the rubber toy with his mouth. Woody, figured out that the food did in fact come from this X, but once the food was gone he was determined to find more and inserted his bottom jaw into the X thus getting it stuck when his jaw released the rubber and the deformed X returned to its natural state. My poor pooch couldn't figure out how to get it off so he came to his mama for help.

Through much whining and complaining and laughing (on my behalf)* I was able to remove that damn toy. Woody has not fully recovered from the trauma and can barely sleep at night, just thinking about the incident that will forever leave emotional scarring. HA. who am i kidding? he hasn't thought twice about it and he still is as insistent as ever that it is time to eat...always.

lesson: don't put the slow dogs in the talented and gifted class. it never ends up pretty. for now he can only play with the canine genius, a.k.a. The Brain Deflater under close supervision. by P, not me of course....

* i regret not having my camera to record this incident for you...i apologize but I'm making you use your imagination to picture the hilarity that ensued....

telemarketers.

2009-05-06T14:10:00.003-05:00

i hate telelmarketers. who doesnt?

today, i decided to give one the benefit of the doubt. i actually answered the call. and then i didn't hang up within the first twenty seconds of the conversation. i was offered the opportunity to lower my interest rate on all my major credit cards. i thought about the offer for a second and decided to press one like the automated biatch asked. i was excited about this opportunity to save an arm and a leg for other more important things like dog food and shaving gel.

a very polite young man answered the phone, and asked me two questions regarding my eligibility for the offer. i answered correctly on both questions, i was anxious to ask him the catch, the reason for such a sweetheart deal, how i got lucky enough to be chosen, etc etc. before i could ask, he hung up on me. THE TELEMARKETER HUNG UP ON ME.

i was about to save some quality chump change. what was that? some sort of telemarketer karma? payback for all the time's i've asked to speak to a supervisor or told them that "no MS. BOD was not here" (simply because my last name was mispronounced?)

i feel cheated. i tried calling the number back because i still wanted the sweet deal, and sure enough "my call could not be completed as dialed"

award time...

2009-05-06T13:36:00.002-05:00

had to make it officially summer with the award from ms. roommate, now i just need some sweet tea vodka to add to the mix. any one have an award for that??

im not really sure what the reason is for earning it, but i am passing it along (with the imaginary booze) to Amber, Alexa, Ashley and Katelin

happy spring/summertime weather. its about damn time.

cure for a happy afternoon.

2009-05-05T14:56:00.003-05:00

im a foodie. im not going to lie. i like duck confit and unagi. i crave chewy wine (yeah thats right, i said it chewy wine) i get lost in the housewares department of macys and am not allowed into stores like williams sonoma and sur la table strictly for lack of funds upon leaving.

while all these finer food related things are great, sometimes it is the most simple recipes that produce the best pleasures. here is a bodelou family favorite* i recommend for an easy and yummy afternoon treat. complete with photos

Bodelou Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

-Cream together 1 stick of butter, 3/4 cup sugar, 3/4 cup packed brown sugar.
- Add 2 eggs and 1 teaspoon of vanila. Adld 3-4 extra ripe bananas, 1/2 cup of yogurt and mix (in pretty stand up mixer if available)
-In separate bowl, mix together 2 1/2 cups of flour, 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda and baking powder.
-Add half of flour mix to banana mixture. Add 1/4 cup of soy milk and two teaspoons of lemon juice. Mix in 8-10 ounces of chocolate chips. semi-sweet of course.

Divide into muffin paper lined muffin tins (i like to fill more than 3/4 of the way... and bake @ 350 for 30 minutes.

*stole the recipe from mama dukes, but modified it for health purposes....

time flies....

2009-05-05T01:42:00.003-05:00

when you're getting drunk.

no im sorry. that wasn't a very lady-like thing to say.

time flies when you're not at home. there, that is more appropriate...my weekend is over, the hiatus has ended, a couple of kids got hitched and left me all mopey and all fever stricken with the wedding bug.

THANK YOU! for the tanning advice. i have to admit i had every intention of going the cancer free route but i got so scared of turning orange that i just laid under the bulbs and crisped my skin. i feel very guilty, i do. i think i should have planned this all in advance and done a test run of the mystic tan. i was too nervous to show up to a wedding streaky and freakishly shaded.

the wedding weekend was fantastic. a few (which is bound to turn into too many) highlights.

1. daddy daughter dance to "man eater"-the hall and oates version

2. sorbet that floated on individual ice blocks that lit up according to the wedding colors...ridic.

3. a most perfectly wonderful (not too soft, yet just soft enough) KING SIZE bed @ The Drake Hotel (did i mention we stayed there for a cool hundred dollars, thanks to Hotwire.com?)

4. tanqueray 10 cosmopolitans like nobodys business. yes people, try it with gin, its much better i promise

5. the 20 whatever piece band that serenaded us with violins during dinner and accompanied the dancing with a horn section and really good singers

6. ended up sitting next to one of the actresses from the touring cast of Chicago, wtf. but hey it was cool

7. the after party set up like a swankified club, with DJ and without all the weird creepy old people...

8. breaking the polaroid camera...i still feel terrible about this one. it was at the end of the night though, we opted to draw stick figures of ourselves in the guestbook instead. sorry newlyweds. me and electronics are not friends. polaroids count as electronics right?

9. having the best man serenade the couple to jethro tull. theres nothing more cute than a socially awkward guy singing sheepishly infront of 250+ people.

yes i was the freak taking the self portrait of myself in the bathroom. mama dukes requested a photo of my dress...plus i had to show the rest of you how cute it was.

the mr and mrs. plus me and p. this is about the point when the bride started complimenting my boobs. no actually, telling p how nice they were....also post bodelou and bride patron shots. these things happen with alcohol.

post wedding was spent with mimosas, delicious wine and patio seating on sunday. can't beat chicago weather when its finally warm! here's to more cold snaps. i planted my flowers earlier today and i dont want to have to cart the whole yard inside.

quick question..

2009-04-29T15:16:00.002-05:00

i am about to venture into the land of the fake tan.
i am paler than pale, and to pull of the cute dress on Saturday i need a little color on my skin. im opting for a mystic tan, but i am scared shitless i will turn out orange. any advice blogosphere????

further explaination

2009-04-28T14:00:00.002-05:00

shit.

1. gossip I don't like to admit it, because it not a good trait to discuss. but at work gossip is a good source of my entertainment. come to think of it, i think that the staff at most restaurants feed off of the drama that floats around these type of tight knit family. i have my little group that i share my stories with and they share with me. we "ooh" and "aahh" and gasp over who said what and who did what, etc etc.

did i mention i am terrible at keeping secrets?

last night a co-worker, a non gossiper shared with me quite possibly the JUICIEST info there ever was. i was sworn to secrecy. i can't even tell P. i am literally the only one who knows. if i were to tell even one person, i know the word would get out. these people can't be trusted* do you know the pain this puts me in?!?!?

tips on how to keep your mouth shut?

with that i got to number 2 on my list
Hypocrites/shady people

okay i typed a little blurb here that came out mostly in code about how i can't stand this that and the other. and i just cant do it in code, i can't censor myself. so i will just sum it up with:

be honest, don't be fake. cause i can't. its insincere as just about the same as lying.

3. High Heels
i have this theory about high heels. some people are just born to weat them. you have the long legs, you have the ability** or you don't. i, in the past two days, have decided i need to wear them more often. a friend of ours who got married in october sent some photos over of the reception in which i am wearing some very cute bcbg paten leather peep toes and damn, i didn't realize just how cute they were. no i take that back. damn sexy. i've bought two pairs in two days. dont fret they were on super sale. (i need to steer away from black. i have like 40 pairs of black shoes)

4. vino, vino vino!
i think i may have had a glass last night, so i don't really know why it is that i wanted to write about it....other than that i must have been delicious?

*hell neither can i.
**yes, i think its a god given natural ability.

a reminder to myself

2009-04-28T01:51:00.002-05:00

this is a reminder to myself on what i have to blog about tomorrow. i'd love to right now, but its late.

1. gossip
2. hypocrites/shady people
3. high heels
4. wine

its too beautiful outside to go to sleep.

2009-04-25T00:34:00.002-05:00

today was gorgeous FINALLY! i am hoping it lasts so i can plant my tomato plant outside, since it is currently taking over the kitchen table. the leaning tower of (future) tomatoes.

last night was i was falling asleep i noticed the following:
-albeit nice without woody and P, it was too quiet
-i need to hold something while i fall asleep
-the artist formerly known as the baby blanket makes a good substitution
-why do i still have the baby blanket?
-for times like these, silly.
-the "artist formerly known as..." is probably responsible for this necessity
-there needs to be noise of some sort while i fall asleep
-the fan will do, but its not as soothing as the snoring of a wiener-dog
-i religiously shut the closet door before sleeping
- even though the door stays open 97% of the rest of the time
- there must be monsters in there.
-i am quite possibly an insomniac*
-and i am an over thinker, which causes me to be an insomniac
- i bring water to bed every night and only drink it if p is here
-its a subconscious contest to see who will get the last sip
- i have thus become a dependent person

ps. hello to the new readers, welcome, catch up and stay awhile :)

*tonight furthers this assessment.

spring time giddy

2009-04-22T14:45:00.002-05:00

what a week! a good one. i have a few things of interest to share. the first would be that i have been tagged in a photo something or other, by ms. m.e. in which i have to share an impromptu photo of myself. no granted it took me a little time to get back to this so it is only semi-impromptu. but none the less here i am sans makeup this AM before work, while i was trying to smile at myself in the mirror and my feet were being attacked by the infamous and constantly adorable, woody, which is why there is somewhat of a vacant look on my face. he didnt make the photo, sorry to disappoint.

i'm taggin hautepocket, kate, katie and kelly (all but one are new reads i've found lately....check 'em if you don't already...)

the second this made me so excited today i nearly PEED myself. my dress came for the wedding. i went against my initial plans of buying one of the dresses i listed before and joined Rue LaLa and bought this one instead. i can't tell you how freakin' nervous i was that i maybe bought the wrong size because i dont normally fit into conventional sizes, that it wouldn't come intime, that it would be unflattering (we all know satin shows off all your imperfections) that it would be too short. I am happy to say that the only thing left to do is find the jewels, do the hair and get a tan! it looks perfect! and it was so inexpensive. i have to thank Ms. Kate at Elefantitas Allegres. seriously, had i not seen your blurb about Rue, i woulda dropped three times the money on a dress. thank you thank you thank you!

the other great news is that it is FINALLY spring. i am sure you are all aware, but the sun is out! and (i think) its here to stay! freakin-fantabulous. soak it up kids. soak it up!

taking the reigns.

2009-04-20T15:38:00.002-05:00

i went to lunch today with a new friend from work. she started at the restaurant recently and i pretty much decided as soon as I eavesdropped on her interview that we should and would be friends.

we had some yummy sushi, started chatting about work and then before i knew it we just couldn't shut up. these are the best kind of lunch dates. i feel in a lot of ways that we are on the same page in our lives in terms of ready to do something of value and substance other than waiting tables/bartending. we are both ready find out what it is we like most about life and make our own niche out of it. (she is a little bit farther along than i am) after discussing life pasts, our presents and our future plans, i've decided that i literally cannot waste any more time. i have wasted the last two years at a job that was supposed to be temporary. ive made good money, don't get me wrong, but ive spent good money, suffered through some shit and i have nothing to show for it, other than a really big chip on my shoulder.

i came home and started looking up masters programs online. i think there are some within thirty miles of here that are worth looking into, hell worth signing up for. so to be honest, if there are some within thirty miles, there are naturally going to be some elsewhere. but before i can go ahead pick up my life and enroll in a program, i have to start looking at what i have to offer. and i have to take the GRE. so here i am looking at dates to sign up for it and i just don't know when to set the date. how much time does one need to prepare for these things? it has been more than six years since i actually took a standardized test of any kind. i remember not really applying myself thru much of the ACT/SAT era of my life. i got by and passed with flying colors without even really trying. my college experience went similarly. i plan on walking all over this test. so i need to start studying, tomorrow.

any tips, advice, recommendations???

bodelou's favorite things

2009-04-17T12:59:00.000-05:00

bodelou's favorite things (april 2009) pt. 1
*kinda of like oprah, but less expensive and i've got no giveaways...*

1. NORTH SHORE DISTILLERY
-in the past i've done my best to push you all to becoming alcoholics by mentioning my favorite sweet tea vodka, over and over and over, so i decided to continue the cocktail trend by directing your attention to North Shore Distillery, home of such greats as Tahitian Vanilla Vodka (a staple in my everyone's liquor closet* not to mention the re-emergence of Absinthe into the market. did i mention the best part? the distillery is a chicago native! the only one of its kind, so all you kids in the chicago sector of the blogosphere, got get some! support local business.

2. Creative Correspondence

i have always been a fan of the old fashioned snail mail, however restricting life may be** and i've found (and shared) some cute cards recently. but my dear friend scarlett in new york, is a genius of all things cute and sent me a little package that i received yesterday. but instead of a slip of printed paper or fine monogrammed note cards, she wrote her message to me on a "while you were out" note. how clever!

3. Rue Lala
I have to thank one of my new favorite people Kate at Elefantitas Alegres for introducing (and inviting) me to RueLala. An online members only designer boutique thing-a-ma-jig. no really, the steals on this place are amazing. i already found a dress for that wedding im going to. anne klein orig. 200 something, RueLala price, $59! if you want an invitation, lemme know, via comment with your email. (thats the best kind of give away i can provide)

*thats right its a closet, not a cabinet. some think we have a problem, but really it is a problem in terms of space, not alcohol consumption

** i really wanted to send my taxes on pretty paper with pretty stationary, but i figured i shouldnt waste such fine threads on the IRS

the birds and the bees, plus a few dogs.

2009-04-16T22:12:00.005-05:00

i am really good at spying on people unintentionally. maybe it is my knack for just being overly aware, i swear im not REALLY spying. i just tend to be an alert person, very in tune with my surroundings, and the writer in me is consistently observant. maybe to the point that i hear things i shouldn't hear, see things i didn't mean to see and remember things i don't want to remember.

i was taking woody for a walk tonite. he was quite the rambunctious pup when i got home so i figured what a lovely beautiful evening to go for a walk. instead of going our long route (which is not safely lit) i opted to stay in the neighborhood, meandering through the maze of a subdivision. i try to stay extra alert at these times because of the dark, the possibility of coyotes, strange men with unhealthy sex drives, and annoying teenagers who drive to fast around the corners. some windows were open tonight on this first night of absolutely perfect spring weather. some windows were glowing blue from tv screens and video games. others were just lit up from the inside. most of the windows had the blinds drawn. except for one.

there they were. across the street in the townhouse facing me, in the window on the second story, but directly in my line of vision. her ass was in the air. and he was going at her from behind. the room was lit up and the window was open, the wall was bright red, so it was hard to miss their pasty bodies against the color. i looked away, and half thought about reaching down to shield my dog's eyes from the doggystle romp before us, but as i crossed the street towards them (because it was the way back to my place) their throws of passion became audible through the open window. thank god woody was too busy hunting a rabbit, pulling me quickly in the direction of home. i avoided the birds and bees talk with him, yet again ;)

i am not sure how to react. actually, no. theres no need for a real reaction. people have sex all the time, hell, i've been known to partake in the activity myself. and im sure there have been times when it has made someone else uncomfortable. its bound to happen. i suppose i was just taken aback by the fact that they were going at it, with the window open, and the lights on at 930 pm. it also made me remember an old roommate of mine. who literally had sex with the door open. the bedroom door that opened into the kitchen where i was entertaining people or doing homework or eating my dinner. this happened regularly.

what is it with people and the need to show off their sex?

i suppose i was asking for it, window browsing as i was. i've learned my lesson.

*wow, does this make me sound like a prude?

i bid you more apologies....

2009-04-14T15:27:00.003-05:00

until i can provide legitimate presents, here is a glance at my budding photography skills, and a plea for a good cause, seeing how in bodelouland, april is good cause month!

a good dye job

the mutant egg and the caged rabbit

champagne and cupcake toast

an easter feaster

worth checking out

1. Lifeline Pilots

a relative of mine is heavily involved in this organization and has been for years. they continue to look for donations to keep this organization growing in a time of slow movement. they are on facebook thru the causes application which not only spreads awareness for organizations and "causes" but also can securely accept donations. i encourage you to encourage others ;)

2. The PAWS half Marathon

i am certainly no runner, but some of you out there may be. so if you are thinking of running the chicago marathon or know of someone who is, send them here to be part of the PAWS team!

i have to apologize...

2009-04-13T22:30:00.003-05:00

some of you are upset, ive been slacking off. the blog and my blog commenting has fallen to the way-side. i know who you are (because i see your IP addresses multiple times in one day...stalkers.) and im sending you my most sincere of apologies. i had something fantastic planned for you, i really did, but well, life and technology have failed me once again and i cannot upload the present i had for you. so you will have to wait. and it will most definitely require me to blog at least once more this week (damn! i was hoping to make y'all wait another week..)

last week was kind a whirl. work, opening day, work, wake, funeral, work, work, work, work, easter brunch work (as in the day second only to mother's day hell in the restaurant biz) and a little sleep appeared here and there. but overall it was a week that allowed me more time with family than i am used to. both figurative family and literal family. i don't get to see them very often because of my schedule so its nice to be able to tickle a little cousin here and there, have a thoughtful conversation with a long-lost great uncle, and talk baseball with the biggest chicago sports fan ever.

memorable quotes from the week

little cousin A to her mom who just informed her that the easter bunny may not visit the right hotel: "can't you just text the easter bunny?"

little bodelouwho (aka, cracka, my brother): "placenta, isn't that a flower?"

pst. im watching the mets home opener on delay (yeah i know, i know, they lost but i have to watch anyway.) and that stadium looks sharp. did you all hear that southwest is opening flights from chicago to NYC? inexpensively? i surely will have to go this year. please please, blogosphere, hold me to that, k?

are these words right?

2009-04-06T22:08:00.002-05:00

last night my great grandmother passed away.

it was sudden, but kind of expected. she had a long life, ninety something years, seventy something married to my greatgrandfather. seventy something taking care of her babies: children, grandchildren, great grandchildren (and even great great grandchildren.) she was your stereotypical grandmother. nothing about her that would stand out too much. she always reminded me of the grandmother from looney tunes. the one who owned sylvester the cat. the white fluffy hair and thick glasses. she made the best sweet tea, pursed her lips together when she had something to say but wouldn't say it, turned her hearing aid down if she didn't want to talk to you and still sent my dad little kid birthday cards with five dollars every year.

she went to the hospital earlier this week, then went to a temporary nursing home for the first time until she could be moved to a more permanent one. she went back to the hospital and died waiting to see the doctor* alone. honestly, a sad ending but literally a mirror of her life. frightening as that sounds.

she'd been feeling the affects of Alzheimer's for awhile now. i don't know if these words are right, but it really took this disease for any of those she took care of to notice her. my mom said it best when we saw her a month ago, "she spent her whole life taking care of everyone else and nobody thought of her as capable of anything but that. she lived a sad lonely life" she spent her time in the house. doing not much more than cleaning, laundry and preparing dinner (mashed potatoes every night!) she went to American Legion Events with my great-grandfather, she went to church with my great-grandfather, she went to family events with my great-grandfather.

i know, i know. this is what you're thinking, she's from a different generation, that was her life and not being from that era i wouldn't understand a woman's desire to give her entire life to her family. but honest to god, it wasn't that and i didn't think about it until she got sick. like i said, i don't think any of us thought about it until she got sick, when she started to lose her inhibitions and say exactly what it was she was thinking.

she didn't want the piece of pie he was making her eat. she didn't want to be at a funeral for someone she didn't remember, she didn't want to go to the doctor, she didn't want her daughter coming to make her dinner. "what is this shit?"

and the whole time, her husband of seventy-something years was annoyed that she was his burden. that he had to make dinner, that he couldn't go to his meetings, that he had to take her to the doctor, that people had to come over and check on her. the woman who made his dinner for seventy something years and pressed his shirts and did everything he wanted and nothing that she wanted; that same woman was a burden. and she died alone.

i think there is genuinely nothing worse than dying alone. after spending your life doing everything for everyone else and there it is. the end of everything, scared and by yourself. do you know how shitty that must be? do you know how terrible i feel? i should have been closer to her, should have spent more time with her, sent her letters like i do to other relatives. everyone has their favorite relative, the nephews they dote on the most, the aunts they connect with the best. the cousin they have more in common with than the rest, but what about those people who are in your life and take a backseat in everyone else's life as well?

*there is a possibility that this is not exactly the proper chain of events. i may be off slightly, or drastically. i heard this through the family grapevine. things are always bound to be distorted, especially since this is the side of the fam OBSESSED with health problems.

its wedding/graduation season, y'all....

2009-04-01T16:15:00.003-05:00

let the season we all love, or love to hate begin!

i am of course on the wedding/graduation season diet.

fruit yogurt veggies granola, maybe a glass or two of wine thrown in here or there. lunges before before bed, crunches in the morning, cardio in the afternoon.

most importantly, i have to find the best dresses for the right occasions.

the first of a slew of events to happen is the wedding of the year. remember those friends of patrick's with the oober nice condo with the super sweet view? they are getting married in may. at first i wasn't that interested in going, but recently, the bride and i have become quite close, so im naturally going to be going. im disappointed work is preventing me from attending the bachelorette party festivities :( anyhow, the ceremony was to be at Holy Name Cathedral in Chicago but that had a fire so it will be at the Quigley Chapel instead, with a reception followed at the 4 seasons. so naturally the event is formal, and well i don't have a whole lot of formal. so this is what im looking at, i need some input:

calvin klein

bcbg max azaria

also bcbg

jcrew

which of the above is the best? and have you seen something lately that you would recommend?

we are all alike....

2009-03-31T14:42:00.002-05:00

i've been out of the blog loop lately. not as bad as others...*wink wink* but still pretty bad. i was over at Classy in Philadelphia, catching up on reading. the more i read of classy's post the more i felt like i was reading my own post. then i remembered reading Ashley D write about her post-~~breakup~~vacation depression and then i remembered Jenn's post about ex's showing up in our lives uninvited and unexpected. and i remembered a post from someone else, and someone else. and all this really got me thinking...

why do so many of us have the same feeling? we all have that one love who got away, but why are there so many of us who have the one ripped out our hearts and took all of us with them? am i just drawn to people with like minds who suffer like circumstances or is there some truth to the first love being the worst love?

coincidently i talked to my ex last night. the one who took all my diginity with him. its been two years and two months since we broke up (i could go into days and hours if you really want to get technical, but i will save myself the embarassment and you the discomfort) we are, finally, at the point in our "friendship" where i am comfortable having a conversation with him. i don't break into a cold sweat or feel my heart beating far past what is normal. i am strangely bold enough to ask him about his girlfriend, where their relationship is going, and still tell him how it is i really feel about him and the whole situation (the situation that isn't really a situation) i told him i still wear the jewlry he gave me*, he told me he doesn't want to know if his girlfriend is cheating on him, etc. and for once, i think i felt okay after the conversation was over. i still think about him on nearly a daily basis, but its passing. its getting less and less frequent. im comfortable with where things are.

do i wish they were differently? sure. i would be lying if i said otherwise. but i now actually believe the truth that you do get over it. there is still that unhealthy glimmer of hope that i have somewhere inside me, but im not placing any bets on that intuition.

*he insisted that there was something wrong with this? am i the only one who sees jewlry as jewlry and not the person who gave it to me??

giving

2009-03-27T14:06:00.003-05:00

the last couple of days/weeks i have been surrounded by the idea of giving. whether its been SoMi:Nilsa's blog drive (which you should do because its a great cause) or the TapProject that i wrote about the other day, which my work is taking place in. i have two stories to tell:

1. the TapProject. my work is participating. if you didn't read my other post, basically it is a Unicef program that asks restaurant patron's for donations for the tap water that they drink for free. the proceeds go to give clean drinking water to children who don't have access to it. its a simple program. last year was pretty successful and they hope that this year is just as successful. our restaurant owners are cheap, so this is basically the only cause that they GIVE money to and participate in. (there are a few others they donate food to or gift certificates, but basically the intent of those is for us to gain new clientel. its not a direct donation) we (as servers) have been instructed to mention the cause as we present the check, politely and simply. some servers choose not to mention it, but stick a little flyer in the check presenter and some of us choose to promote it (seeing how it is a great cause and the minimum/most common donation is just a dollar)

apparently, suburbia can't handle charities. we had a guest call and complain about asking for donations. now we are no longer allowed to mention it to our guests, yet our bosses assume we are going to beat last years record collection. this is ridiculous for many different reasons. 1. IT'S A FREAKIN' DOLLAR! 2. if we added it to their bill without their knowledge, half of them wouldn't notice anyway. 3. its for a great cause 4. these people are spending upwards of $80 on dinner, some only on wine and they have the nerve to complain about being ASKED to give a dollar? 5. you can say no graciously, nobody will hate you

it really makes my stomach turn at how entitled these people think they are sometimes. i have decided to say screw it and tell my tables anyway. if i get fired for it, i won't be upset in the slightest bit.

2. part of my other job is to work in the community to give back, and create a philanthropic reputation for our clinic. we have decided to have a spring clothing drive. in the past, the clinic has done a coat drive in the fall but i decided that we should donate during a time of the year when most people wouldn't think to. i contacted the organization we donated to in the past, and they said they are no longer accepting clothes, but they referred me to a separate organization called Morningstar Mission. today i went to meet with the coordinator for volunteers and donations to get a feel for what exactly it is that they do and who it is they help. The person i met with gave me a tour of their space and what a shock it was! It was incredible all the work this mission is doing for the community. they have a shelter, a cafeteria which serves 3 meals a day, 365 days a year to about 150 guests (not including residents who live in their semi-permanent family facility) there's a mens program which helps men get back o their feet thru employment training, counseling etc. there's a computer program, a children's area, a chapel, a living area for people to come spend their days, a library, nursery, two thrift stores, a food bank! it's unreal! i was impressed and as cliche as it is touched by how much dedication the staff puts forth to make the lives of people genuinely better. This made me forget how shallow people can be, how absolutely self-absorbed and petty we can all be at times. and how just one dollar isn't really enough, it isn't really making ENOUGH of a difference. they say $1 will give 40 children clean drinking water for one day, but shit, there are a lot of kids out there that need more than just clean water.

ive taken upon myself to do less whining, less bitchin' and more helping those who really need it. i mentioned in my 25 things about me that i wanted to find an organization to give my time and money to, and i think i found it in morningstar.

get ready for some BIG NEWS....

2009-03-25T23:11:00.002-05:00

I DID IT! I CLEANED MY ROOM!

i know, you were probably thinking it was something really exciting and life shattering like a new job, a new boyfriend, a new life, but to me this is a big deal. ask my roommate, she will vouch for the pre-deep clean chaos that was infecting my half of the upstairs.

i was looking for a better job online this afternoon, when i said to myself, "bodelou, you've checked every possible online listing, stop procrastinating and pick that shit up off the floor." so i did it. i popped Gone With The Wind in the DVD player (because i figured it would take about that amount of time) and I tackled the task that I have been meaning to get at for some time. Woody was pretty excited about this, because his bed is not surrounded by a mountain of clothing, or underneath an ironing board that needs to be put away. and i noticed the cat is less interested in hanging out in my room and leaving fur everywhere, because it is no longer a land of mystery and adventure and perfect for hiding. i have just a few things left to do, vacuum and throw out a shelf that has been sitting on my closet floor since i moved in. these will wait til tomorrow when the roommate is not sleeping. it looks MARVELOUS! and it makes me feel marvelous. even though my room was so cluttered and chaotic, i have a really hard time sleeping when theres shit on the floor. almost as hard as it is when the closet door is open (is that weird? i just can't do it) needless to say, lately i've not slept well. i hope to sleep like a baby tonite.

my goal: to let it stay that way. i will try my damndest to be tidyer and more organized. i will FOLD my laundry when it is done in the dryer. even if i don't have time. i swear i will.

such a silly thing to make me feel so accomplished, but i do. baby steps to getting my life back on track.

what have you accomplished lately??

like minds are genius.....

2009-03-24T16:46:00.002-05:00

this is for those that desired that i be more uplifting and less bitchy and less selfabsorbed. we all fall into our own little pit of despair sometimes, don't exclude yourself, annonymous commenter, sometimes we just need a little help to pitch ourselves out!

1.

2. this shit is DELICIOUS! i know i've mentioned it before, but you must try it. im looking for recipes for yummy drinks. any ideas, my fellow mixologists and southerners? i want to be a rep for them. a just be a silly giddy drunken southern belle all day. ha, just kidding.

3.the tap project such a good cause. we are doing it at work, we did it in years past and it is pretty successful. unicef is always a great organization. on the website they have a page where you can look up participating restaurants in the area.

4. on the note of bettering humanity...does everyone know about turning the lights out on saturday?? I guess they are calling it earth hour. if you don't know anything about it, chhhhheck it out.

do y'all feel all warm and fuzzy yet???

can someone please explain?

2009-03-24T11:50:00.002-05:00

1. why my mom cannot figure out the keylock on her phone. she is london today well all week actually, and her phone dialed mine (from her purse or pocket, im not sure) 5 times at 3:00 am. of course on the day when i have to get up at 530. why?this is not the first time she has left it on unlock and dialed. no in fact, she does it quite often. last time i heard her talking to a coworker....ABOUT ME. the woman needs to get a lock-down on her technology. she may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but how hard is it to hold down the * key?

2. twitter is overcapacity. which is kind of annoying. maybe they should expand the capacity or forbid people like @johnmayer and others for obsessively tweeting.(lol that shit has got to be made up, but it is entirely possible i suppose) there are a few people i am about to unfollow because i don't need to know each and every comment they have about american idol, the way the sun shines in the morning etc. its becoming an obsessive compulsive addiction.

update.

2009-03-22T22:11:00.000-05:00

wisconsin lost

i got nothing done

it was a failed day.

sunday diversions

2009-03-22T15:06:00.004-05:00

i had planned on being lazy today. no really really really lazy. like so lazy i won't move.* but then i remembered all that shit i have to do. like starting with cleaning my room. i will be honest with you, its a mess. like beyond a mess. i've always been a little scatterbrained and unorganized, a little spastic in terms of my possessions. but since ive taken on a second job, ive become a slob. i hate it. its embarrassing**.my closet it puking a mountain of clothes. clean unfolded clothes. there is a collection of more clothes on my dresser and more clothes in my shower. they are everywhere. the problem i have with laundry is folding it. does anyone know where i can buy a laundry folding machine/maid for a really good price?

i feel like i get a huge F on the test of life that asks how to keep your shit together.

so i think instead of sleeping and becoming a piece of the downstairs furniture, im going to fold clothes and watch wisconsin play hoops*** then maybe tackle my bathroom. and then maybe i will look for a new life or a butler.

in other news
i went out last night for some drinky drinks. and ran into lots of friends at the bar and enjoyed it thoroughly. i was also invited to a bachelorette party. the plan is a blow-job class and bar crawl. i really didn't know those existed except in the movies**** should be interesting, every girl could brush up on her skills, i suppose.

i cant stand lady gaga. i don't get the craze, the absence of pants and the need to make mindless music that is really loud. can anyone explain this to me?
i also have the cutest dog ever. roomie took this photo of my love, a bundled up in his blanket last nite. what a goof he is!

*its funny to think of that as a goal, but really it is a good one for me considering my life lately.
**my poor roommate had to rifle thru the chaos to find two items yesterday, i am horrified and totally apologetic. ***they're down by five as of right now. even though i have carolina going all the way, im prayin' those badgers last a little longer and make a sweet sixteen appearance. screw those boilermakers ;) ****ha what a terrible cliche that is.

hurt feelings...

2009-03-21T02:28:00.002-05:00

every night when i come home late from work i get the best greeting a girl could ask for. a smiling face, happy to see me, no a down-right-ecstatic face. the pooch runs down the stairs as fast as his little chicken-drumstick legs can carry him (sometimes leading to actual somersaults) and his whole body wags, not just the tail. he jumps as high as he can while squeaking and crying "hello mom! im right hear! i missed you so much!" tonite was no exception.

normally i let him outside for a pee, so he doesnt squirt me (he's an excited piddler, yes thats a word, i think...) and he trots back inside as soon as he is thru, then follows me like we are two opposite parts of a magnet. every night he sleeps in my room, on his own little bed at the foot of my own. (might i add, up until the time i get home he is tuckered out on roomie's popesan chair.)

after letting him out tonite, he ran upstairs instantly. i thought he was maybe going to wait for me outside my bedroom door, or peek down the narrow stair case at me. but no, he pranced into the roomie's bedroom and back onto that chair. i of course, didn't want to disturb her so i didn't venture in. i figured as soon as i settled into my bed and he heard me relax, he'd be at the door in a jiffy. not the case.

now im exhausted, laying on my bed thirty five minutes later wondering if he is going to make an appearance. he has never, i repeat NEVER slept outside of my room of his own volition. i don't like the idea. okay, lets be frank, my feelings are kind of hurt! it's silly, but they are. i don't want him to forget who his mama is. and really, i don't want to be lonely. im leaving my door open (something i rarely do) and i hope he creeps back in. i may even let him sleep on the bed if he does.

the past weekish...

2009-03-19T22:20:00.003-05:00

i kinda, maybe dropped off the face of the blog world for the last week. sorry. not like i owe anyone an apology but i am doing so anyway.

its been kind of a strange week. i spent the end of last week sick and fussy. like a newborn with colic, except much worse and abdomen related. (wow.that was a terrible analogy. maybe that's why i havent been blogging???) then the rest of this week was just discombobulated. what better way to recover from a stomach ailment than to go drink my liver away? st. patrick's day was celebrated, quite heartily actually. i did my irish relatives well. this was actually the first time i've done anything. and while yeah, its a lame holiday and a sorry excuse to have a beer and be coo-coo, i needed to let loose. and roomie took off on a nite i normally don't work anyway, so it was nice to actually be around her other than in passing. we did the cliche go-into-the-city-and-get-hammered thing. it was fun. good quality time spent with the roommate and a bunch of strangers. we met a handful of characters that i will probably never see again, but i will remember for quite some time.

i also spent this same evening in a downward spiral of text messages with that pesky Ex of mine. this is why doing the cliche go-into-the-city-and-get-hammered-thing is not a good idea to do with a cellphone. one innocent "happy green beer day" text turns into a slew of just unnecessary text-flirting/coy banter*. which is bad because it can only lead to a heavy and strangely still disappointed heart, and a guilty conscience. towards the end of the evening, right about time to leave city/drinkdom for the un-irish suburbia, i remember sitting on a brick wall inside the Irish Oaks in Wrigleyville, just kind of staring at my sneakers** while roomy was being schmoozed by a guy who literally could not decide if the glasses looked better on or off and in his hand. (good observation, roomie, cause i noticed it too.) while i was staring at my sneakers waiting for this guy to let the death grip go, i was thinking to myself, what the hell am i doing here? not literally at the Irish Oaks, because i was (kinda) aware of what was going on. but figuratively speaking. what the hell am i doing wasting my time at two shitty jobs? what am i doing still in this relationship that is going nowhere? why have i not done something with my life that i have something to show for? and why do i keep pondering this same question and doing not a damn thing about it?

for some reason, talking to the Ex always puts these things in perspective for me. at first it was the what if questions. then the more time passed the more i realized that when i was with him i had a better idea of what i wanted to do. i had goals, i had plans, i had aspirations and destinations. since that whole relationship kicked the bucket, in the biggest way, ive really just floated on by as best as i can without hitting the big waves. and without aiming for the ones that are going to give me the best ride. its a rutt. and im stuck in it. and im not exactly sure how to get out.

*coy is my word of the week by the way
**does anyone else still call them sneakers?

more things that need to be addressed

2009-03-12T13:41:00.002-05:00

things i am not a fan of today (or probably any other day for that matter)

1. my insurance agent. pain in my ass. why does insurance always have to be that way?
2. grumpy gills that put me in a sour mood (i.e. my dad's grouchiness. boo)
3. cold weather and the absence of a spring break from my life, post-college.
4. the renaming of the sears tower. wtf?
5. broken hairdryers.
6. ex boyfriends calling me. and getting too personal with accounts of their current relationship, and asking details of mine.
7. hearing my neighbors every time they ~~close~~slam a cabinet door.

things i am a fan of today (or probably any other day for that matter)
1. cupcake bakeries- theres a new one in town called sugarmonkeys. yum
2. kelly clarkson's new CD
3. great friends who just accepted great jobs even though they are far away
4. finding more silly things, via the blogosphere to give me a laugh and to share. thank you to my lovely friend over at justmoi
5. leftovers
6. YELP!
7. my new book
8. new greetingcards from bluebarnhouse

things that should be addressed....

2009-03-12T11:43:00.002-05:00

i don't really have a common thread that ties together todays blog. so i will just ramble on haphazardly*....

1. despite his separation anxiety issues of late, i have the cutest dog. look at the way i found him sleeping this morning. on his back, belly up with the comforter pulled up to his armpits. hehehe.

2. i had a mini-meltdown last night after D my friend from work and H my other friend from work and i went to a little dive bar and i thought i lost my credit-card. i spent all night freakin' out about, unable to enjoy my dinner. then i spent 30 MINUTES ON HOLD with bank of america to report it lost and get a new one after a THOROUGH check of everywhere and everything. finally i am put on the phone with a gum chomping southerner (i love the south don't get me wrong, half of my roots are still there imbedded next to sweet potatoes and watered with sweet tea, but this guy was terrible!) after listening to him complain about it being a long night and hearing him smack his gum he issued me a new card. two minutes later, i find it. slid inbtwn to dollar bills. ohmygod! sometimes i can be so ditzy. the shitty part is now i have to go into all my favorite online shopping places and change all the info. what a pain in my ass.

3. i love two shows that recently started up again. and i can thank MelO for getting me hooked.
-the first is the real house wives of Manhattan (okay pretty much the real housewives of everywhere) they are pretty much all pissing me off so far. well okay except for jill and bethenny. but really there is one housewife and her ~~husband~~ live-in-companion that really irks me. first there's the fact that he is clearly not straight, yet married to her anyway. i know he denies it, but come on....."honey don't forget your pink loafers." what man wears pink loafers (with matching pink jeans) and isn't gay? its not a european thing. its not a MAN thing. shit i don't know any women who would wear an ensemble as such.
-the second is dancing with the stars. if it weren't for DVR i wouldn't watch it, because really i just fastforward through all the crap and only watch the legitimate dancing. and on results night i only watch the conclusion. theres no need for the show to take up three hours of my time weekly. anyhow, my gripe with this season is the replacements. okay, holly madison, hugh hefners former famewhore/girlfriend. thats fine, shes not as bad as she could be. most people have an idea of who she is** but the second replacement. the jilted former girlfriend on the bachelor? SHE'S NOT A STAR. and she has training in ballet. that is such a cop-out contestant. if she wins, i vow to never watch the show again.*** yes shes good, she fun to watch, she is more elegant than all the others, but half of the fun of the show is watching "stars" find their feet over the course of 8 weeks or whatever. its entertaining to see people who reall wouldn't dance otherwise take on the task. she is a far cry from being a prime candidate. boo to the producers of DWTS.

4. i am on the search for new blogs to read. any recommendations??

5. people must think i am the laziest person ever on days like today. i am not at job number 2 this morning, so i slept in as best as i could (considering the case of the splintering headache that came last night and lingered into this morning) and i got up, read a little bit and then popped online where i found a plethora of email worthy topics to pass along to friends/family/appreciative acquaintances. i think i sent maybe 8 consequentively to the same group. i hope they forgive my bombarding and are thankful for the day's random food for thought. earlier in the week MelO sent me this. which all you wineos would love. apparently they cost upwards of $100k. but shit, when i write my first novel, star in my first movie, and simultaneously record my first album, this will be first on my list of purchases. second being, wine to supply it.

*i suppose i normally post in this way, but what the hell...
**however she is famous for being Hef's girlfriend not for posing in Playboy, as her introduction on the show suggests
***its probably better i make that vow anyway.

back to weird dreams

2009-03-10T21:17:00.002-05:00

last night i had the most difficult time sleeping. i was stressing about the dog, thinking about a new job, hating the job(s) i already have, and just worrying in general. needless to say, i had some freaky dreams last night. two of them are recurring dreams that pop up from time to time. specifically during times of high stress.

1. the one where my teeth fall out. initially only one tooth would fall out. and it would do just that, randomly while i was talking, just fall out. and nobody would notice. then they would crumble. like chalk or something. last night was the worst ive ever had. literally, one tooth became loose and so i pulled it. then the tooth below it became loose and so i pulled it. looked in the mirror and saw not just two but four gaping holes where teeth previously were. apparently, in my dream, i recalled having two others fall out previously. so then i became frightened that moving my mouth in any way would make more fall out. so i tried to freeze my movement entirely. this didn't work, and two more were uprooted. finally, in dreamland, i realized it was a recurring dream i had had before and i woke up, just as the bleeding was starting to get out of control*

2. the everyone is watching me pee dream. i have to pee. in my dream. so i make it to the closest
public bathroom. i wait in line, because there is always a line at the ladies bathroom, even in dreamland. finally its my turn. i go to sit down and realize that somehow, the stall is not covering me completely. each time it is different. sometimes the stall walls are too short on top, sometimes they are too high on the bottom. sometimes it is a double-duty stall that you share with someone else. sometimes, like last night, the stall has a GLASS DOOR. and of course i get nervous and i can't do it because there is always someone there to see me pee. weird.

what weird recurring dreams do you have?

*this was in the midst of roomie/sista/bestfriend/landlord throwing a fit because we didn't make it to the celine dion concert in time to hear "the titanic song" celine dion, wtf?

musical rumor mill

2009-03-10T15:25:00.003-05:00

i was floating around my reader today (which has me 530 in the hole) and i came across this little bit about a few musicals being remade.

jim carrey in a musical? wtf!
P-NEL ~~cruise~~ cruz singing?!
KATE HUDSON DANCING?*

I will try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but im crossing my fingers.

ive discussed in previous posts my love for musical theater. (both live and the silver screen or boob tube) im a junkie. but this blog is totally right. there is so much room for error. so much room for the life of the musical in hollywood to die (AGAIN.) im disappointed. they couldn't get anyone else? how about a new star, why force stars who are probably lacking in musical and dancing skills to relearn something half assed. they have a good possibility of ruining a great story. oy!

*note to producer*ya shoulda thrown her into dancing with the stars first.

HELP!

2009-03-10T00:45:00.002-05:00

i want to blog about fun things, like sunshine and rainbows and new jobs (but none of these things are current in my life.)

instead i am going to plead with you for help.

my little pooch is suffering some severe separation anxiety. he was doing so well since we moved in june. he had life down pat, until a few weeks ago and it has gone down hill since then. he shakes uncontrollably when i leave. that is, provided i can find him in one of his secret hiding spots. he wont play with his toys while i am away or even eat treats! he's destroyed a blanket, found new interest in the cats litter box, refuses to go outside and was a little aggressive at the dog park last week (which is out of his character...he's really a push-over.)

what do i do?

i don't know if it is because he is lonely (new cat doesnt play with him like other cat) if it is cabin fever or if i am not giving him enough attention.

this is really for a co-worker....

2009-03-08T03:03:00.003-05:00

the capital F in cursive. (sorry the image is grainy)

yes, you are right. your cursive F looks so much better than mine, even though we weren't asking opinions, especially not yours that comes complete with snotty attitude.

yes, you are right, you are the epitome of perfection (in your own delusional head) and we all should worship you, even though there's a combined total of two that can stand you.

thats right, i strive to one day be as narcissistic as you, and until then i won't sleep.

one little thing, when you made your F you forgot the little loop at the top.

F IS FOR FAIL.

trends

2009-03-06T13:39:00.004-06:00

i was thinking about crocs today. i cant stand them. i say that with the meaning being, i cant stand them on people, i would never buy them, but i have been known to sneak my roommates on my feet from time to time to take the dog out. they are convenient. definitely not cute, but convenient. my mother loathes them even more than i do, nearly fainting when a coworker of hers showed up for a biz. dinner at charlie trotter's restaraunt in cabo san lucas mexico, wearing an orange pair. the bode women will never understand this trend.

i don't exactly consider myself a trendsetter nor a trend follower. i kinda march to my own beat, but sometimes a trend or two will get caught up in my rhythm.

- UGGS. i didnt get it for a long time. they are ugly. hideous, clunky, chunky, and weirdly furry. i dont like any of these things on my shoe rack, but once i tried them on, i totally understood.
-rihanna- couldnt stand her to save my life. mostly just her ginormous forehead irked me. then i listened a few times and began to get it.

-etsy. i discovered it after everyone else. but i thank the blogosphere for introducing us. we are best of friends.

- harry potter. i didnt start reading until like the fourth or fifth book. i just wasnt into "kid stuff" at the time. im glad i finally caught on.

sometimes i even beat the trend, taking interest in something before the rest of the world catches on.

-myspace. i joined forever ago. while i dont use it hardly at all, i was on that bandwagon, before the train left the station

-michelle branch. i know thats a random thing to call a trend because to most people she kinda dropped off the face of the earth, but i remember listening to her homemade CD that i found online wayyyy back in the day before she was discovered. i think i may have even gotten in from her.

-john mayer- loved him before the rest of you did. as in before room for squares. ya know who introduced me to him, my mother. shes cool like that.

-the newfound cupcake trend. its now the hip thing to do, to make buy or sell cupcakes. but i assure you i was baking little handfuls of goodness before you couldn't escape the food icon.

- sweet tea vodka. okay, while ive blogged about it a few times, it is still up-and-coming. so my recent indulgance counts right? its so yummy. i high recommend on the rocks with a splash of lemonade.

what trends did u beat to the punch, embarassingly fall in love with or loathe whole-heartedly?

writing is the best therapy

2009-03-04T12:27:00.002-06:00

yesterday was good, despite what i was expecting, seeing how the situation hasnt improved much. and honestly, it declined even further.

HOWEVER! i did spend my afternoon in the city and topped the evening off by seeing the musical chicago. i cant say how much i love musicals. as a kid i really really wanted to be a broadway star more than anything, so seeing any kind of live production in a theatre (especially one as magnificent as the oriental) blows my mind. i am taken back to childhood dreams and that amazing feeling of being captured by music and lights and dancing! oh the dancing! the tickets were actually a gift FOR someone but i think i enjoyed it more than the person i gave it to. it cleared my mind, let me escape and i couldn't stop smiling the rest of the night. well almost.

shit tends to hit the fan at the most unnecessary of moments.

however, i found more relief in the weirdest of places. the roomie/landlord/sista/bestfriend asked me to edit a paper of hers for school. actually i had offered earlier in the week and at 1130 at night i was not really excited about doing it. but i decided to anyway.

i had such a blast. who actually likes editing papers? ME!! i put a lot of thought into it and once again it took my mind off of other things. even though i said i wasnt going to do things for other people currently, i did it more for myself and my own well-being. focusing on something so intently drew my attention away from negativity. its funny to think of spoiling myself by helping someone else with their homework. i haven't written anything (other than blogs) since college. or at least nothing of real legitimacy, so doing this really made me miss school and writing classes and oh a mountain of other things.

okay i have things to do. like really unimportant things.

so much can change in 48 hours.

2009-03-03T01:33:00.002-06:00

seriously, i felt so glad to have good friends the other day. i was happy to have those nearest and dearest in my life. i don't use it often, but i felt....blessed. today i cannot say i feel the same.

i want to puke in my own hand right now and put it up my sleeve and hold it there all day. i want to literally throw someone to the curb. i want to take back every nice thing i have ever done (for multiple ungrateful people.) im totally hurt and really upset. i may not be the best person in the world, im sure ive made plenty of people mad and angry and even as angry as i am now at one point or another, but i feel totally used and unimportant (multiple people.)

its really been festering for awhile and now it is all coming out. maybe its the PMS, maybe its my passive agressiveness, maybe its me overanalyzing. maybe its me being the selfish person i am. maybe it is all of these things. but i am sick of putting everything i have into my friendships to get treated like shit. or treated like nothing. i think nothing is worse than shit. im done with it and i just refuse. im not spending my time with you. im not buying another present, im not playing hostess, im not loaning money, im not pretending to be interested in someone elses crap (nobody is ever around when i need it!)im sick of repeating myself twenty-five times because someone couldnt be interested until the twenty-fifth time to actually LISTEN to something im saying. im not putting in any more than i absolutely have to for anyone. (except for the blogosphere of course...) of course i am too chicken shit to tell these people to their faces, because once again, thats just not the kind of friend i am. so the blog is my venue. sorry to make the rest of you involved. but the beauty is you could have stopped reading a few sentences ago. i think at least one of the accused reads, maybe they aren't as dense as i presume and will actually get it. probably not.

in other news....(mostly just to transition out of the uneasy and unpleasant topic ive already dedicated much of the past two days to...)

that vlog was lame and embarassing so i saved you the time and awkward laughs and myself the embarassment.

maybe i will make one later when im feeling more chipper.

im going to see chicago tomorrow. in chicago. weird. should be good fun.

i had a portillos hot dog today and remembered how much i missed them when i was in north carolina.

i did it, i purchased the sweet tea flavored vodka. its pretty fantastic. i havent had more than a sip yet but i think i may tomorrow....morning.

i saw coraline tonight. it was pretty cute, even though the 3D totally makes me sick.

jimmy fallon has a new show. i lost interest after the first twenty minutes. who seriously wants to lick a lawnmower. thats not funny. i hope its a first episode slump.

not afraid to say it...

2009-03-01T06:02:00.002-06:00

its about 6 am.

ive been up since 9 am. i just spent the last 6 hrs partying with my girls from Highschool, including my landlord/roommate/best-friend/sista and im exhausted. did i mention i have to pick someone up at the airport in a few hrs?

its been a great nite. i may be a little tipsy still and im totally not afraid to admit it. it may still be light out and i may have to use an eye mask to fall asleep, but it was worth it. im thinking about a few things rgiht now in no partucialr order...

1. sleeping naked... i dont typically blog about nudity/sex because who knows who reads this, but i prefer to sleep in the nude. PSSSST, roommate it is not always wise to steal the ironing board out of my room because i may be "unfurnished" because i prefer to sleep without. dont worry i dont sleep this way when people are here. that would be weird. as weird as eating someone else's pizxza roll after they spit it out for temperature reasons. ew.

2. the likeliness of me to my mother. we are nearly identical. there is a feature on MSN about mother daughter combos. naturally they are talking about celebrities and i was thinking that i look much more like my mother than most of the celebrities listed. do u look like mama dukes?

3. driving to fun music. i love finding the perfect song and driving fast to it, with it blasting and singing all the words at the top of my lungs. whats your favorite soong to drive to?

4. the vlog i recorded about our 3 am cigarette excurions by K the comedian. (this one i will post tomorrow maybe) im sure its one of those, ya had to be there moments. and tomorrow when i watch it more sober, it won't be very funny. ha. sorry if that is the case and you don't actually get to see it. wooops!

5.tbe importance of great friends. they are essential. even if they are more organized and put together than you. even if they have their shit lined up, their ducks in a row, so tos peak. because at the end of the day, they still lvoe you and will dance on a coffee table to britney spears juat so you aren't dancing alonne. and hell, they stay up till 5 am, because even though theyve been drinking all night, your party didn't start til 1145.

k night

ha!

2009-02-26T21:34:00.002-06:00

i just noticed that not only are roomie/landlord/bestfriend/sista and i sitting side by side and blogging, but we are blogging about doing that very thing. it wasn't on purpose.

and in response to the question she posed about sweets,

kettle corn totally counts as a sweet, yes?

thursday thunderstorms were slightly better than wednesday's

2009-02-26T21:16:00.002-06:00

today was a tad better than yesterday (other than the fact that woody REFUSES to go outside in this mucky rain)

ya know what? i wonder if my boss reads my blog. because she apologized. what?! who does that?

its going to be a good weekend, and next week will be a good week. visitors in town, yay! drinks to be had, yay! days off from work,(well kinda off) yay!

i am going to *try* and make a VLOG for next week. don't get your hopes up i have to figure out how to go about it, but i have video capabilities i just need to really figure it out. tips?

things i like today:

-grits

-"“I was just talking the other day about how strange the Britney Spears songwriting approach is. I’ve never met her and I’m not coming down on her, but all of the songs are sort of like, ‘I’m getting all my girls together, we’re gonna go out’ and ‘I’ve got holes cut out for bleep, I got flashlights on me'. And then it’s like, ‘why’s everybody looking at me? ‘Everybody’s looking at me’ because oh, did you hear verse two, Britney?”- John Mayer

-awards such as the following, that i am passing along to
Bama Belle in the Big City
Just Moi
Classy in Philadelphia
and
Confessions of Jersey Girl

i have no idea the purpose of this award and now that im looking at it, it says 2008. but i totally don't care. i've always been either ahead of the trend or WAY behind. case in point.

ps.

you know you are in the age of technology when you and your roommate sit in front of the tv and side by side, separated only by a pooch, working on their blogs ;)

it wont end will it?

2009-02-25T23:28:00.002-06:00

just when i thank my lucky stars for having such an awesome day yesterday, and when i really think that today couldn't have gotten any worse, the cat puked on my bed. then i go into the restaurant and my schedule is jacked up AGAIN.

i get home and woody has peed himself. which he never ever ever ever ever does. and hes shredded a blanket. i don't have the patience for it tonight.

im going thru my emails and i come across one from Obama for America. I read about half of them merely because i get one every day and i don't have time to read a four page email from a spam account under the name of our Prez. but anyway, i read this one, and this is what it says:

Ashley --

President Obama launched the most ambitious effort to stimulate the economy in our nation's history when he signed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act on Tuesday.

Your representatives need to hear from you when they vote for the change you mandated in November. Doing what's right can be thankless when the culture of Washington tries to make political games out of the issues that matter to everyday Americans.

You're part of a powerful grassroots movement that can change that dynamic. According to our records, you live in Illinois's 14th district.

Rep. Bill Foster, Sen. Richard Durbin, and Sen. Roland Burris's votes were crucial to passing the bill and creating and saving jobs in Illinois.

Can you pick up the phone right now to thank Rep. Foster, Sen. Durbin, and Sen. Burris?

at this point the names and numbers of the senators and my congressman are listed. including the ever popular Burris*. this gets me fuming. FUMING!

the last year has made a mockery (a good word because it rhymes with crockery) of our state politics. as much as i want to shout, YAY the prez. is from my state, i can't because of idiots like Blago and now Burris. thank you for puting the corrupt in politics.

I was seriously insulted. i know it is just a form letter sent to everyone in every state to thank their reps. who voted in favor of the stimulus dealyo, but i was so mad i can't even explain. i responded with this:

I am a strong supporter of the Democratic Party, I donated to Obama's campaign and follow local politics closely. While I do not have a problem thanking Senator Durbin and Representative Foster I think it is insulting to ask me to thank Burris during the current scandal that is going on in our state. There is nothing about Burris or anyone else related with Former Governor Blago. that is worthy of thanks. It is an embarassment to our state during a time that we should be proud of other illinois politicians like our new President. While I understand he voted in favor of this Recovery and Reinvestment act, I did not vote for him, nor do I find it appropriate that any member of the Senate chosen by the former Governor be praised by people who did not elect him. I think these emails should be reviewed for their appropriateness before being sent out to people who are in support of ridding government with the corruption we know too well.

Sincerely,
bodelou

sorry to bring politics back to the blog (its been awhile since i brought it up) but it just makes me mad that part of the reason i was so in favor of obama, partially because there was a lack of apparent ties to corrupt politicians. now, i don't think he is tying himself to burris because he has clearly denounced blago & co. but his people should know better than to expect our state citizens to actually call up this jack-off and thank him for nothing.

i sent my letter to four different people and i am still waiting for a response.

here's to the weekend, and the possibility that tomorrow, albeit a long day, will be a hell of a lot better than today.

*if you don't know much about Burris be glad, but here are a few links to why we don't like him

a little bit irritated, a little bit rock and roll.

2009-02-25T16:25:00.002-06:00

so the worst part about the second job thing (other than there being a second job thing) is that neither of my bosses can get my schedules right. yeah, my seemingly easy life is so much more complicated when i have to scatterbrained people in charge of when i make my money. this week in particular has been a hassle above all hassles.

both jobs scheduled me on days at their businesses when i CANNOT work because i am at the other place. what is it about availability that people don't understand. it is NOT optional. it is set in stone. at the beginning of last week, the restaurant posted the schedule and had me working when i was scheduled to work at the office. so instead of bitching and moaning about it, i decided to switch it myself. i swapped shifts with a fellow server to take care of it and not lose hours. so what happens today? the doctor tells me that they need me to work tomorrow AM. no no no. i do not work on thursdays. so the whole switching around at the restaurant was pointless and i had to switch it back. and now instead of working two days with a nice break in between for lunch with old friends, and walks with woody, i am going from one place to another changing clothes in my car. what's worse is my boss at the dr.s office misread the schedule that she had given me, or forgot to change it. because i triple checked and it said i was not working. but what happened? she got in my face about it. (there's nothing i can't stand more than someone telling me im wrong. oh wait there is! someone telling me im wrong when i am IN FACT right!)

i know i know, i should be grateful to have a job, let alone two jobs in tough times. but seriously, i have two jobs that suck. and two jobs that don't appreciate a damn thing. and two jobs that are getting me nowhere.

---

yesterday, MelO (who is making a return to blogging, so go check her out) came over for a homemade brunch and stayed for a bottle of mimosas and a long long long chat. we used to live together and even though we aren't so far away we dont see eachother often. it was a blast and a great way to spend my day. even though my conscience reminded me this morning that i got nothing tangible done in 5 hours. but ya know what? sometimes the days that you get nothing done, are the best days. and yesterday certainly met the mark.

---

triple c is coming back into town this weekend. im excited. and i have to think of something fun to do. any ideas? did i mention fun and inexpensive?

theres no point for a title to a pointless post, is there?

2009-02-24T09:53:00.002-06:00

things i am loathing today:

1. angelina jolie. seriously, i loved brad pitt before she was around. he seems so much more serious and un-fun (thats not a word is it?) know he's adopted her mentality of we are just TOO good for everyone else. the oscars on sunday made me think of this...

2.meetings that cause me to wake up at 5:45. that is a good 4 hours earlier than i normally wake up. and the meeting is just long enough that i can't get away with falling back asleep when i get home because i am too alert. bleh. needing money totally sucks.

3.my mother going to mexico on sunday. without me. boo. who cares if it is "for work" and its mexico city. checking out sweet hotels and being schmoozed by people in the travel biz doesn't sound like work to me! through in the pool and the yummy food and the cheap shopping and i'm having a hard time believing it is a hassle. sign me up for that job.

4. beyonce. i like her normally. but i didn't appreciate her musical rendition at the oscars. yes, i think she can sing, yes im glad shes comfortable enough to prance around on stage in a leotard, but some classics should just not be sung by her. like, oh every one of them. with maybe the exception of at last.

things i am loving today:
1. my scarf. seriously, i love love love it. i take it everywhere i go and sometimes where it inside. okay most times i wear it inside.

2.my old roomie melO is coming by and we are going to make a scrumptious brunch and catch up because we are overdue. i love/miss her. so does woody. he needs a little spunk in his life and she is way more spunky than i am.

3. P. he is such a good sport for putting up with my shit sometimes. and lord is there a lot of shit.

4. oscar fashion. i love looking at ball gowns i can't help it. i want them all. just to trot around the house in. or maybe practice my princess/beauty queen wave with. (you can't rightly wave without appropriate attire, can you?) i wish i would have the need for dresses like that or the means for that matter.

5. the word crockery. its just fun. say it. you know you want to...

6. friends that i am scheduled to see/or already saw. such as A and C and K (who is hilarious btw) and who has a show at walter payton's roundhouse this weekend. and JLo and triple C who are both venturing from N. Carolina to see me this week. okay so JLo is coming for other reasons, but i am tickled to get to spend some quality catch up time with her. a lot of people have been stopping by from NC lately, and it makes me feel terrible i haven't been in forever. oy! add that to the list of places i need to visit.

7. the fact that my love list is longer than my loathe list for once. thats a good sign.

for joy and my sister

2009-02-23T13:58:00.003-06:00

for those who were wondering....

the cuteness of the scarf.

and the greatness of having another day off. well, semi off.

hope everyone is having a wonderful monday and i will have more to say later.

ketchup.

2009-02-20T14:52:00.002-06:00

lets play catch up.

that super cute scarf i mentioned last week, was delivered to me via my lovely boyfriend P. he somehow managed to make up for last year's valentine's day misgivings and he went out in search for the perfect gift. i am surprised and happy as a clam. thank you Joy @ BigTime Fancy, because without your post about the awesomeness of Kate Spade, i wouldn't have a warm neck. warm and cute. cute enough that woody is even jealous.

its a good thing i got that scarf because it is supposed to be hella cold tonight and tomorrow. and really it has been every day since said scarf was delivered.

we (as in the roomie) and i are having an evening of festivities tonight. orginially it was going to be a girls night, but we invited a guy or two, so it is just a night. but the good part is that it is friday and i have off! that never happens. im excited to relax and kick back with friends who work real jobs during normal people hours. i miss them.

spring training for baseball has started. which means i am getting updates in my google reader about my mets. which also means that incongunction with the cold weather, training camp photos have made me more anxious than ever for summer. im excited for baseball, warm weather and flip flops.

what are you excited for?

when facebook goes too far...

2009-02-18T14:52:00.003-06:00

so i am a facebook addict, i will admit it. if i have a free moment or two i pop on there to see what is going on in the lives of people i know and also the ones i barely speak to. but the key phrase here is that i KNOW them. like have spoken to them, conversed with them, spent time in school, in church, at a family reunion together. ive partied with them, had them unexpectedly stay the night at my house after a roommate had a party. i have seen them in person. or ive interacted with them via the blog thing. i have a glimmer of an idea who they are. in fact most of them i grew up with and at one point or another we were close. no really, im not streching the truth. they are former coworkers or classmates i live too far away from, but i still like to know what is going on in their lives.

there is a girl who has friended me about 213 times. i do not know her, i have never seen her, i couldn't tell you anything about her (other than the excessive information i could find on her profile) but every time i decline her friend request i receive a new one in its place. finally after about nine months or more of this annoyingness i sent her a message today, telling her i don't know her, so she can stop sending me requests. maybe that was mean, but its the honest truth. she responded with the answer that we graduated high school together. my thoughts being, thats great, really it is and im sure you are a very nice person, but that doesn't mean i know you. nor does it mean we should be facebook friends. one or two requests were fine, but after the 213th it has gotten a little scarey, and at this point even if i DID know her, i wouldn't want her knowing the glossed over details of my personal life. i responded with a simple, "i was at said high school for a little over two years and don't know many of the graduating class. sorry to disappoint"

what do you do when you have a facebook stalker?

when i broke up with the Ex i lost my sanity for a brief moment or day or month. in that time i may or may not have become a facebook stalker. the end of the relationship happened when he cheated on me, and i was determined to find out who she was. so i went thru the list of female friends* and judged myself against each and everyone.was she cuter? did she seem smarter? were we similar?** i escaped the phase without sending messages to strangers or threatening emails. or really thinking about it much afterwards. and not once did i ever consider FRIENDING anyone i didn't know. that just seems weird.

*this was in the old facebook where much more was visible to the person outside of your network.
**yeah. i was an emotional wreck. go ahead say it.

the ever constant 25 things.....

2009-02-17T22:40:00.000-06:00

everyone is doing it. and while i have put it off, finally i am giving in to peer pressure, those annoying tags, etc.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.

1. i was born in a ten room hospital... and supposedly my mom was invited to bring her own supplies.
2. i love to eat, but breakfast is my favorite meal, and i can thank waffle house for that. but more importantly i like to mix all the flavors together. eggs on my pancakes, syrup on my eggs, hashbrowns in my buscuits and gravy, you get the idea.
3.i have the must organized sense of unorganized chaos ever. ask my roommate/sister/landlord/

bestfriend if you dont believe me
4. if someone told me i could have a lifetime's supply of a certain food it would be goat cheese
5. if someone told me i could either have children or dogs, i would choose dogs.
6. i usually say, num num num, before i fall asleep
7. i LOVE the dentist, but i have nightmares about my teeth
8.i am so particular about having my haircut, so i don't do it very often. i am so afraid of having the worst hair cut ever. there is a lot of hair here that can be messed up, folks
9. i want to spend time and money giving back to others. while i've done a little here and there, i want to choose just one organization to continually give to that i can become a huge part of not just an ordinary donor. i have yet to find it.
10. i read extremely fast. maybe faster than anyone you know. i would like to make a career out of just reading.
11.if that falls through i would like to own my own bookstore/bakery. everyone knows an independent bookstore fails unless it has a gimmick to draw people in. what better gimmick that delishish pastries and cupcakes?
12. i am a musical junkie. yes, thats right musical. like rodgers and hammerstein/broadway musical junkie. if i had whatever talent i wanted, it would be those possessed by a broadway musical star.
13. i hate olives and bleu cheese but i LOVE bleu cheese stuffed olives.
14. speedos make my stomach turn. no seriously.
15. i blog to keep my sanity.
16. i say seriously too often. seriously.
17. i want to work at charm city cakes and make outrageous cakes for a living.
18. i am a mixologist in the making. just ask my roommate and past roommates who love my special appletinis. im currently perfecting the flirtini and the pomegranate martini. someone mentioned a rootbeer martini to me, which is intriguing. plus i have to figure out what to do with sweet tea vodka.
19. one of the best feelings is surprise even though i can't keep a secret and always ruin my own surprises.
20. i cant believe i am doing this list. i must be bored
21. i can't believe you are reading this list, you must be bored.
22. i may or may not be addicted to bravo reality tv shows like top chef and project runway. you decide. you're either in or you're out!
23. i've been told that i am really supposed to a new yorker and also supposed to be asian. by a new yorker and an asian. both legitimate judges of my legitimacy.
24. my boyfriend thinks i am attached to the computer, but he is the one who wants to set up the facebook account for my dog. weird.
25. i miss my family. the ones who are far awy and i havent seen in ages! family shouldn't be so distant. you know who you are.

a late update

2009-02-17T21:57:00.002-06:00

ive been bored. but busy. so a bored busy?

valentines weekend is always something else in the restaurant biz. too much work for amateurs. no offence to those who dine out on valentines, but its not the best of crowds to wait on.

i was pleasantly surprised by truffles and tulips. too very good things for valentines. the tulips are downright beautimous, i have yet to photograph them, but plan on doing so later for your viewing pleasure (as if you haven't seen tulips before)

tonite and tomorrow it is supposed to thunder-snow. i don't know if ive ever witnessed such a phenomenon before. its kind of an exciting suspense. i get anxious for things i haven't seen before. lets hope the weatherman is right this time.

we went out for my brothers birthday tonite. sushi. my favorite sushi place ever, where a certain friend of mine from north carolina picked up a waiter who she is coming to visit again when she comes to see me in two weeks (which i am stoked for*) and then the waiter who she tried to fix me up with, despite that P is in the picture. so tonite, who do we get as our waiter, but the later server. the one who she tried to set me up with. who remembered me, by name and tried interrupting our family conversation a few times. awkward. the same waiter who ended up at my condo, drunk, cute, but drunk and hitting on me in all his cute drunkness. who slept in my bed, alone and disappointed, while i slept uneasily on roomies bed. of course, the fam has no knowledge of this, but promptly picks up on the awkwardness of the situation and wants to know the scoop. i give down the dumbed down version of the cute drunk waiter who texts me constantly to remind me to be careful when it snows and the roads are slick, to remind me to have a good sunday, even though i never respond. i left out the part where he was drunk and slept in my bed, let alone the condo. OY!** it was nothing that a little sincere birthday wish interjection couldn't cure...happy birthday, little cracka-jack brother!

*do people still say stoked?
**while i gave the fam a dumbed down version, im giving you a modified version of the dumbed down version. just know that nothing fishy went down, even though i was maybe hoping it would. is that bad?

i hate to steal, but seriously...

2009-02-11T14:06:00.003-06:00

if you are looking for something to buy me for valentines day. look no further.

i thank joy @ the big fancy for showcasing this cuteness on her blog today. because i have fallen in love and i can't get up.

tuesday travels...

2009-02-10T19:03:00.002-06:00

inspired by ashley over at This? Is Not the Life I Ordered I have decided to make my own list of vacations on my mind.

i had planned on going to NYC this spring. to see the mets, my nephew and sister, and long lost friends who currently reside in the "other city"* but well, unless i get a loan or start a fund for my sad-car-with-the-missing-mirror, (you can contribute if you like) I may not be able to make this trip, because alas, i will not be able to take off work and i may not afford a ticket, let alone fun expenses that vacation entails. so here are a least of other places that i would like to go this year, that if P finds a new job he can take me to...wink, wink!**

1. greece-ever since seeing photos of a trip taken by the Ex's family, i am dying to make it back to the land of such greats as The Odyssey, feta cheese, amazing ruins and the beloved Grecian Urn*** no really, who wouldn't want to spend a couple of weeks in an island destination that looks like a painting and submerge yourself in a completely different culture that shares the same loves as myself. art, food, the beach, family and history. i would love to go and spend a month there but well like i said, time and money permitting, or not...

2. sparks/Las Vegas, Nevada

mostly i want to go to visit a good friend of mine who is living in Sparks. yeah, sparks isn't anywhere you've heard of. it is the sister city to Reno. He lives there, quite miserably actually, and is need of a visitor of someone fun and his own age. most visits have been limited to family members. while sparks and las vegas are in the same state they are really nowhere near eachother, but i figure, if i am going to go all the way to nevada, i might as well go to vegas! right? i was in vegas before, for my 16th birthday on a road trip with my real-life sister and younger brother and cousin, how did we get there you ask, my grandparents. really, there was only so much fun to be had with this crew and at this age. so i fully plan on retunrning with a more fun and appropriate companion to enjoy all the sins that las vegas has to offer. particularly the pool, the booze and the late nights****

3. Paris- oui! i've never been and am thoroughly jealous of anyone who has, particularly my roommate/sister/landlord/bestfriend who has been on more than one occasion. now that the holidays are over, we currently have a little paris montage on our mantle including an oil painting painted and bought in the city of love istelf. ahhh paris! what more is there to say, really?

4. Mexico- of the list i've made, this seems the most likely to occur other than NYC. why you ask? because it is my mother's destination of choice, and she still owes me that trip. this time i want to venture a little more outside of the resort areas. i want to visit some pyramids, go for a hike, and find some real mexican food. no resort buffets thank you very much! but no montezuma's revenge, either. im thinking somewhere i haven't been. despite the danger, i would love to go to mexico city. call my crazy but wouldn't it be something to see the largest city in north america?

5. Vancouver

yet another location where a good friend of mine resides. a few years ago a group of friends and i visited this wonderful place and i fell in love. sadly i spent little over 36 hrs there and didnt have the opportunity to really breathe in this city. what better time to do it than now, right? and by now i mean when i can afford it. while it is an international trip, yes, canada counts as international, i think the pacific north west is so different than here that i would feel like a completely different place. and i am certainly in need of a break from here. my friend who lives there i haven't seen in a long time and we are more than overdue for a catch-up. he is in fact a super important friend and if money weren't an issue i would have been there a long time ago.

where would you go if you could and why?

*for a long time "the city" signified chicago, but after spending a lot of time there as a result of the Ex, I've come to know NYC as "the other city" still good and almost like home.
**i don't expect either of these two things to happen anytime soon, and naturally this list falls behind the NYC trip.
***huh?
****most of you already know that i am a self-professed night owl and i really need to take advantage of the way las vegas encourages late night activities!

before i forget...

2009-02-06T09:21:00.002-06:00

last night i dreamt i was in a longhorn steakhouse (similar to the one i used to work at in college) and i ordered a sweet tea but they brought it out and it wasn't sweet. i was in texas which led me to a discussion with the server about why texas doesn't serve sweet tea. is it a southern state or not?

last night i also dreamt about going to the college world series. but i thought it was the real deal world series. on our way there (i was with the fam) my sister packed a box full of crystal bowls wrapped in new super soft towels and was mad when they broke after the first home run of the game. why they broke i can't recall, but we were all looking at her like, who brings cyrstal bowls to the world series. and my brother, my younger brother, was reading a playboy with my mom. weird. my roommate/sister/best friend/landlord was at the real world series, and even though it was between the san diego padres and the defunct montreal expos, i was so jealous that i was at the wrong world series.

last night i also dreamt that my dad was my carpool driver for work. similar to the way he was the car pool driver for early band practice in junior high school. except the catch was he wouldn't stop or slow down when picking up my coworkers. he would simply drive past and they would either jump in and make it to work or miss it and not show up. needless to say, i told him to put the pedal to the metal when we drove by certain peoples' houses. hehehe.

things ive been thinking today...

2009-02-05T21:36:00.003-06:00

i am going to make homemade valentines this year. i have been martha-stewart-inspired and will return to my former days as a crafty kid. i may have to invite my old friend K over for some craftiness. if anyone knows of where to find some fabulous crafty valentines ideas, let me know!

you should all go visit my sister/landlord/bestfriend/roommate's new blog. she just started and needs some readers and some feedback, because i love her. and she can evict me at any moment. ;)

if u were a fan of sweet tea and u were also a fan of vodka would you drink sweet tea infused vodka? i am very curious since i saw it in the store this week.

i love homemade pomegranate martinis and this cheesecake. so yum

if i had to choose a profession right now (other than the lameness that is my life as of now) i think i would be a pastry chef. yep. maybe i should save my dough and enroll (no pun intended...okay maybe it was)

why would anyone have 8 babies? and if u had six already, would you really go back for more. six is enough, right?

the whole michael phelps thing is a little stupid. sure, he shouldn't have smoked a bong, but actually he just shouldn't have been photographed doing so. BUT, how many other athletes are not reprimanded for doing steroids? and he's not even competing right now, is he? i get it! he's bigger than anyone. but he's at the top of his life, let him let loose a little. cut the kid some slack, the key here is he IS a kid. you think michael jordan never smoked a blunt? everyone knows he had a gambling problem/cheating on his wife problem/probably a drinking problem, but we still love him. we're all human.

while cleaning my room i "stumbled upon" a LARGE BOX that had been sitting in my room practically since the day i moved in and was sitting in the corner of my loft at the old place just collecting dust. i decided today to empty it and file stuff away in places they can call home permanently. in the piles of papers and stack of notebooks i found most of my college writing. i have my degree in creative writing, with a concentration in poetry* so you can imagine all the memories that came up while sifting through this stuff. some of it was almost too painful and embarassing to read. which is silly because i wasn't reading it to anyone but myself. i took a fiction class my junior year, where i had to write a short story. pretty much my story was ripped to shreads so bad in our inclass critique that i never read any of the comments people left me on copies of my manuscript. needless to say i skipped over them tonite as well. i saved them anyway...all twenty two copies of the same 50 page story. maybe one day when i am older i can read through them and my story and learn something. the poetry on the other hand...oy. i don't even know how to explain that one. i understand NOW what my asshole advisor was trying to tell me about not making it personal. even the non-personal pieces were personal. and i see it now. which is why they are so hard to read. my relationship at the time affected some much of what i wrote. or maybe the proper statement is that my ex affected so much of my life. in ways i wasn't aware.** i feel like my relationship now leaves a very SMALL imprint on me. i wonder if i will feel the same way about this two years from now or if i will see the mark it has put on me.***

*i know, i know, a "useless" degree
** not bad necessarily
***this relationship is so much more relaxed than the last, otherwise i would learn from my past experience

things i forgot, plus a letter to an unknown asshole

2009-02-04T12:26:00.003-06:00

dear unknown asshole,

why must you hit my car? it was only parked there for five minutes before you were able to single-handedly ruin my day and deplete my savings account by the amount i was saving for my NY trip! why could you not just leave a phone number so we could figure this out? or at least have done this in a place of business that has a camera so i could track your ass down? you have quite possibly made me lose all faith in people and ruined the prettiness of my car, hannah montana*. she is no longer new and prestine, but has a shattered mirror, exposed wires and missing siding. i wish you, the unknown asshole, nothing but the best, because if i don't wish you well, that makes me no better than you. even though i really feel like running you over after hunting you down and stalking your every move

fondly,
bodelou

its a damn good thing i have this cute face to come home to, otherwise all hope would be lost.

oh and if you think this dachshund is cute, you should check out this one. which i found via the who's your dachshund blog. a highly recommended read.

and a few etsy finds for today
a pretty orange ring
a ginko necklace
and a cute valentine from the place where i interned at
thats really all for now

*no im not infatuated with miley cyrus. i dont know anything about her, i just thought the name was fitting. its a long story i will dive into some other day.

hump day boredom

2009-02-04T12:12:00.003-06:00

i think this week's humpday should be glorified and abused to its fullest potential. by that i mean everyone should be lazy today.

even though i don't work i am having a hard time to motivated myself to do something productive today. thus far this is what i have accomplished:

1. painted fingernails an obnoxious blue color that i don't really like, but i couldnt have on a work day. so i am just rollin' with it

2. eye-brow maintenance. this is very essential to keep up with, and if you've met me in person you would understand, because if there is one thing in my life that is flawless, it is usually my eyebrows. however, they have been neglected lately. so today i tackled the task that is the bode brow.

3. made breakfast/lunch. i think they call that brunch?

4. wrote three letters (that's right. real letters, not emails! i actually had a guy ask me why i didn't use a wordprocessor or email the other day when i was looking at a fancy pen)

5. contemplated which to do first, clean my room or remove wallpaper

that's all i've got. i don't think things like getting dressed and taking out the dog count, do they? so i haven't yet decided the outcome of number 5, but both need to be done. i can't remember if i mentioned before the sad state of my bathroom, but basically, when i moved in, in JUNE i started the task of removing wallpaper from my the walls of my bathroom. i have yet to finish it. and not because my bathroom is particularly big because its really like the size of my closet, but because the wall underneath is being a huge pain in the ass (crumbling, etc.) so i stopped working on it shortly after. and have had an eyesore of a bathroom for some time. a few weeks ago mom and i went to target and got sucked into the greatness that is the bullseye and bought all new decor. so this inspired me to finish up that damn greuling process of removing wall paper. bleh! i think after today i should be done! then all i have to do is spackle, sand and paint! wish me luck!

a quickie...

2009-02-02T15:20:00.002-06:00

ive got minimal time here folks, so i will make it short and sweet.

life has continued to be busy, so sunday was a much needed day of rest. however it really wasnt spent resting, exactly. we went to the city to visit some of P's friends. not just any friends, but the friends with the SWEETEST condo. hell yes. thats right. the 59th floor of a "green building" overlooking navy pier, millenium park and lake michigan. thats right, the condo takes up a third of the floor, so the view encompasses the three best views of the city. holy hell. its like walking it to bil gates/oprah territory. i feel like i've broken into the nicest hotel whenever i am there. we relaxed, ate, drank took photos, messed around in "the music room" and played a little wii bowling. oh yeah and we watched a little of that damn football game. was it just me, but were the commercials boring and down-right weird this year??anyway...some photos for your viewing pleasure.

while some people opt for wings and nachos for the superbowl, my crowd doesn't mess around.p p made an amazing dinner. steak dinner. whole foods steak dinner. so very yum. i can't even begin to explain how spoiled i feel sometimes....

i didnt really pay too much attention to the actual football game, since im not much of a football fan (i like to keep it real, with baseball) but we had a good time. and i took a great nap on the way home. what did everyone do for the superbowl? anything fun?

to make up for the last one...

2009-01-29T00:47:00.004-06:00

the last entry was really depressing, so to make up for it i've got a short little list of great things i think you too should know about. i'm just that sweet. i accept your thank yous! ;)

1. this lovely video. the first version i saw was over at chicagoist, and was to the song walk it out. but upon going to youtube to search for it, i found this version. which apparently is the real inspiration for beyonce's video. which is interesting. i like beyonce, but these are bob fosse's moves, kids. and i love some bob fosse. im sure i've discussed for musicals before, right?

2. etsy! i am a sucker. i've been hooked for awhile now. i have a love for unique jewelry. i take that back, unique yet still tasteful, although i suppose that is all relative anyway right?
i am in Love with this ring. i may have to get one.

3. the last goodbye- jeff buckley. i've loved this song for a particularly long time, but i especially love it today. i think i listened to it three or four times in the past hour. if you haven't heard it, although i am sure you have, go listen to it.

4. things to read other than crap about chiropractors. such as :

Working Girl
Confessions of a Jersey Girl
The Shared Journey * thank you nilsa for reminding me, it still shows up as the old name in my reader, so i forget these things. i love it no matter the title*

not to mention the following books that i am working on
Miami (joan didion)
Interpreter of Maladies (Jhumpa Lahiri)

5. cheese. specifically La Tur Cheese. mom was given a membership to a cheese of the month club (who knew these things existed?) and so she has an abundance of cheese in her fridge. she let me raid it, and this delicious little cheese is what i brought back. its like a stronger flavored goat cheese. a little saltier, but so good. i don't know where you would find it, but if you do. get it. and eat it all.

"gary, indiana gary indiana, not louisiana, paris france new york or rome!"

2009-01-28T23:53:00.002-06:00

thank you all for the prayers and well wishes.

what a last few days it was.

i love my family, really i do. its just sometimes i wonder when they will all just take a step back and relax. you would think that on an occasion such as the one we were at, people would take their lives into consideration, remember that petty fights are just that, and remember that though we can't choose eachother, we are stuck together whether we like it or not.

the hardest part of the funeral was actually not the funeral itself. but the realization that my great grandparents are older than dirt and fading very fast. in this mess of a world, their children cannot find it in themselves to get along with each other enough to take care of their ailing parents. their parents who have been married seventy something years, who still live in their house that they have lived in forever, their parents who are both sick in one way or another, be it Alzheimer's or sick of life. they can't take care of one another let alone themselves.
when we arrived, my dad went up to say hello to his grandparents. they looked across the hall at me, very confused. my grandmother, the whitest little lady you've ever seen (literally her hair and skin are the sam color) stared at me. dead in the eye. she whispered to him, "who is that?" he responded "how the hell am i supposed to know?" i smiled their way trying to let them know it was me. when i finally made it over to them to say hello i greated him first. "hi grandpa" i said. "hi grandpa? hi GRANDPA??" he puzzeled, very upset. "it's me, bodelou" "bodelou? ohhhh bodelou. i haven't seen you in twenty years. maybe you should come by more often!" oy. i saw them six months ago. "hi grandma, its bodelou" "i know who it is. you don't have to tell me." oy times two.

at the luncheon after the service i sat across from my great grandmother E who couldn't remember why she had fried chicken on her plate and tried eating her cookie with a fork, until Great grandpa W said to her "Damnit E, don't use your damn fork, its a cookie for christ's sake." my uncle J, told me how the aunt nobody speaks to (the one who, despite this story, sounds like the devil incarnate by the way everyone else talks about her,personally i don't know her that well, the one who wasn't welcome to the funeral) comes by once a week and portions out their food and labels it so they know how long it goes in the microwave for. grandma E wakes up every morning and doesn't recognize anyone, not even her husband. she goes around telling people it is her boyfriend. as cute as it may sound, and as much as all her children like to joke about it, there is a serious issue at hand. i don't know what it all comes from, but there is some sort of annoymosity between the children (my grandfather and his siblings) and it has put them in the place where they don't talk even important things like the health and safety of their parents. its so bad, that even my parents speaking up is taken the wrong way and with bad intentions. sometimes i think that the family feuds go back so far that even though i am not involved i should just pack up and run away. i don't want to see it. see the hatred between blood relatives. furthermore, i don't want it to pop up in my own immediate family. it seems like, on that side of the family, every generation gets progressively worse and gets along less and less. i hope that this is not a family gene that is passed on?

in a little more chipper tone, dad drove me through the neighborhood he grew up in. the good side, so to speak, of gary indiana. he gave me a brief run-down of gary history. why it looks like a ghost-town, why the family doesn't live there anymore. and i also got a nice tour of the family landmarks. the elementary school he went to, the house he grew up in, the house my great grandparents (E and W) lived in, the house my other great grandparents (who are no longer living, my namesake and F) lived in, the church my godmother got married in, the house with the scariest dog alive, the house of the recently passed, etc. it was a great little trip through my dad's memory. its crazy to think i've lived this long and never seen it, where as on the other hand, i spent my christmas in the house my mother lived in.

burning out....

2009-01-23T16:02:00.002-06:00

this week has been hectic. (with inauguration celebrations and all...tee.hee.)no really, other than that it genuinely has been hectic. almost two hectic. balancing my time has really gotten to me. i miss my blog, i miss my pooch, i miss my sleep!

i was sitting at my desk today, contemplating that whole two weeks notice thing when a knock came on the door. and i sat there blinking and nodding my tired head while my bosses gave me a gift. a fabulous name tag and a box of personalized business cards. oy! what do you say to that? you certainly can't say i quit. i know this is hard to believe but sometimes i am too nice and just can't say no, because there are people out there that are too sweet to let down. my bosses happen to be two of these people.

another one of those people is a good friend of mine who is apparently in town for the weekend. he was a good co-worker of mine back in N. Carolina. a fun drinkin' buddy, wedding date, and smile bringer. he texted me yesterday to say he was in town, and would like to meet up with me. of course, he couldn't have picked a worse weekend. sometimes there is just little time to find time for these things. this weekend will be a struggle. and as soon as i've got it all sorted out, monday will come and the weekend will be over? how do you all manage your time best?

another one of these people would be my late great aunt, who passed away on tuesday night. a sweet sweet woman, feisty and well-spoken lost her long battle with cancer. her hair was mile high and white as snow for at least twenty years, a true gem. i remember her being the only entertaining relative when we would go visit my great grandparents as a kid. she'd read to me, and be truly interested in what i had to say, which at times was a lot, and consisted of unnecessary jibberish. lord knows the crap she dealt with her life. god bless you, aunt mary!

eyez watchin u

2009-01-20T16:43:00.002-06:00

im watching the parade and there are all these cute high school kids all decked out in their marching band gear (that would have been me back in the day. thats right, i wasn't nearly as cool as i am now.)anyway, the funny part is seeing how they are all trying their hardest to pretend like their eyes are straightahead, but really out of the corner of their eyes they are trying to catch a peek of the most recognized man in america.

i see you, now dont forget that glide step!
teehee

aw snap! charlie gibson just made fun of illinois politics. damn you blag-o.

todays the day!

2009-01-20T09:23:00.002-06:00

finally! the moment we have waited for :)

as i was in my way too early meeting this morning (630am sharp) i remembered this was the day history would be made. naturally, i tried my hardest to look awake and feel awake and act awake while i "networked" with a bunch of strangers.

and then the grievances started. this bunch of small business owners began a constant complaint of the newness that obama will bring. the taxes, the penalties, whine whine whine. i just don't understand how someone could complain, no matter your politics, and not recognize the importance of this day. can't you just acknowledge the great strides we have finally made, stomach it for a day and start your complaints tomorrow. taxes haven't risen yet, he hasn't messed anything up! let him (and the rest of us) soak up the glory today and bitch and moan when there is something to bitch and moan about. lets not forget, hes starting from the bottom of the barrel, things can only get better right? (*crosses fingers*)

between a rock and a hard place

2009-01-19T13:40:00.002-06:00

i have a friend, i've mentioned before who is a gem when it comes to companionship. yet as i mentioned before, there are some social graces he lacks. like putting me inbetween he and my boyfriend, P. he practically screamed to me "pick a side, bitch"

D and i work together (also with P.) we hang out and go to the movies, we're on the search for the best Italian restaurant in the area. we like the same music, like the same TV shows, read the same books. but like i said, he has some traits that are less than desirable that can make life awkward at times. he is the most stubborn person i know and its his way or the highway and it takes a lot to please him

the other day i mentioned checking out a movie and he kinda made a smug remark about being too good to hang out with me. normally, we say these sorts of things in jest, but i could tell there was a bit of a better tone behind his remark.
i inquired further as to why he didn't want to go to the movies, (and what his problem was) he broke down and told me

D: "its your stupid boyfriend. i don't want to have to hang out with him"
bodelou: "thats funny, because he never comes with us anyway"
D: "i don;t know why you date him anyway. he's such a slug"
bodelou: "alright...what happened?"
D:"I don't want to get into it. he's so immature."
bodelou "tell me"
D: "he just made some snotty remarks about going to a gay bar."
bodelou: "okay, such as?"
D: "i told him he should go with me sometime and he said, why would i ever want to go to a place like that? im not gay! that would be weird.' he doesn't even know what a gay bar is like. we aren't all just sitting around having sex in the open. "
bodelou: "okay..."
D: "well aren't you mad? he's clearly homophobic."

what do you say to something like that? im sure the tone P used was not the best, but D tends to be sensitive. at the same time, P is a grown adult, and i don't have a muzzle over his mouth. i can't control what he says. and why should i be mad? i don't expect a straight man to go to a gay bar anymore than i would expect a gay man to go to a strip bar. Not to mention this conversation is coming from one of the most racist people i know. someone who thinks its okay to tell his coworkers to go back to mexico. someone who calls his neighbors "rag-heads" i dont know what to say! descrimination is descrimination anyway you look at it. IGNORANCE is spelled the same when regarding race, sexual orientation, sex or religion.

i just listened and fumed at the two of them. B for dragging me into this and P for being such an ignorant twit around the Diva. I never brought up the conversation with D to P. i don't think its worth it. i just don't want to be in the middle of this shit again.

dreams

2009-01-17T12:13:00.002-06:00

i had a fit of dreams early this morning.

good bad ugly and amazing. the kind of dreams that make you wake up because they are so real but you figure out they are dreams and the kind that make you want to go back to sleep, instantly.

all the people i love most made an appearance at one point or another. so feel lucky my lovers, because im sure you were there ;) most of them required some amount of travel. my childhood home (which no longer stands) made an appearance, as did the BIG apple and all my sweet sunshines that live there. one dream i was on a plane en route to the Caribbean and another took place on a cruise ship.

anyone else have any good dreams lately?

an awkward day full of fun things

2009-01-15T15:00:00.003-06:00

today was awkward. awkward in the sense that it was reminiscent of my previous life, which consisted of the following

1. wake up
2. read book/eat yogurt
3. surf internet
4. read book/eat lunch
5. surf internet

now here i was about to do number 6. on the list (get ready for work) when work called me to tell me i didn't have to be there until an hour and forty-five minutes later than i was scheduled. what a tragedy! it is late in the afternoon and i am still wearing my PJs (although mighty good PJS) and i am remembering just how lazy and useless i may have been pre-job-number-two-life. and while i miss it, it is probably for the better that i am doing something with my days other than reading, surfing the internet and eating good things. haha. however i did compile a list of things that i have found while reading, surfing the internet and eating. i thought since i am out of the office today, i can at least show someone (you my lovely blog readers) that i did accomplish SOMETHING today! enjoy :)

list of things i like very much

1. in honor of the quickly approaching inaguaration of our 44th president, paste magazine has come up with this nifty little website, called obamicon.me where you get to make a nifty little version of the shepard fairey poster with your own photo superimposed where obama should be. check it out! here i am haha. bad photo, but it was the most inspired one i could find. my arms look like they are wooden, but whatev.

2. hungry girl! i don't know how i found this... wait yes i do, i was reading ISLAND GIRL'S post about her favorite things, and stumbled onto a gem. I am learning something new every day, granted it has only been two days, but seriously! i am an avid baker, i was looking at the list on hungry girl's main site, and who knew you could substitute no-sugar-added applesauce for butter? shit i didnt!

3. i am, as stated before, a bibliophile, and found a new book (on accident, mind you) that i am falling in love with. What is the What? i can hardly put it down , even when i am supposed to be surfing the internet ;) this is also a plug for goodreads.com....if you aren't on there already, ya should be and we should be friends so we can share our love of goodbooks.

4. i already knew i was in love with etsy.com but i just have to share some cute things i found/bought/talked myself out of buying. Jamie at ohh owlovely mentions etsy quite often and it was she who brought me to this wonderful site of handmade goodness. you can find literally, anything on here! i had a tough time deciding on which stationary to purchase first, but i settled with this cute little set of dachshund note cards from ShopPaperWhite. very appropriate if you know me...

and i really wanted, but held back from getting this cute little coffee cup and this lovely antique inspired ring. OH and lets not forget this pillow, these magnets and this art print! i love etsy.

5. i am planning a trip to NY. i started looking at prices and i think it will be around the time when baseball starts. no maybe shortly there after, when it is warm enough to tolerate a baseball game. so other than friends and uber cute nephews i have to see, i really want to explore the city this time. any recommendations for things to see and do? i am conjuring up a list and that i will have to weed thru and pick only the most exciting things. im not talking all the touristy stuff, because ive seen/done most of it already. i am talking about the little things that not everyone knows about. the best place for pizza or the best gallery or the best place to find a lemondrop. anyone have any recommendations? (or anyone want to be my travel buddy?)***

okay, enough lists, it is truly time to get ready and showered and head off to work. tomorrow will be more productive.

***oh shit, right after i wrote this i saw a little blurb from ashley on twitter about a plane leaving la guardia going into the hudson. note to self, do not fly in and out of la guardia. i always thought it was a rats nest anyway....hope everyone is okay.

they are just words

2009-01-13T13:03:00.002-06:00

its a well known fact that i am a bibliophile. i cant help it. but with this comes the love of words in particular. i never really thought about until Triple C, my long lost best friend from N. Carolina brought it up the first time we met.

triple c "you love books. what's your favorite word?"

bodelou: " i dont think i have one yet"

triple c "mine is breakfast"

bodelou "that's my favorite meal, not my favorite word"

since then i have been on the search for the perfect word. along the way i have found the ones i don't like.. in no certain order:

moist
crevice
groin
ointment
garbage
hemmorage
octopus

i haven't found a favorite quite yet, but so far i like

plantain
albeit
kaleidoscope
moot
ethereal

what are your favorite words? and why do you love them?

change of scenery

2009-01-12T21:11:00.003-06:00

yesterday i took down the christmas decorations and now everything looks so empty. it doesnt look empty come june when i am used to the lack of sparkle and tinsel, but until then everything takes some more getting used to.

with this emptiness i decided to rearrange my bedroom, liven it up a little bit. the bed turned a bit to face the other wall, the dresser was moved completely, grandmas vanity made it upstairs with my favorite find ever, the antique typewriter that actually works, however, it is not currently set up for WI-FI so i can't blog with it ;)

p says "why do women always find the need to rearrange every 2 months"

i say " a change of scenery?"

p says "but its not really a change of scenery just a rearrangement of the background"

i say "close enough"

i have to say, i really love the way things are shaping up with the new configuration of the same old junk. more spacious, more wall space, more me feeling. and i think there is potential to keep it a tad more tidy. im not going to lie, im not the most organized gal. i dont make my bed in the morning like my lovely roommate, nor do i keep my desk drawers filed perfectly or my underwear drawer for that matter. i purposely use my dresser for things other than clothes because i can't stand to fold. instead i hang everything, be it on the rack or on the closet floor. hehe. i tend to live a life of "organized chaos." while rearranging the room i stored some unnecessary crap/clean clothes/books in my closet. i just kind of piled everything on top (all tucked inside hampers or boxed and just closed the door so it wouldnt distract me while i was moving furniture. today i went on the task of finding my headphones. alas, they fell into the abyss somewhere behind my closet door. it seems the crap multiplied over night and i can't see the floor, let alone the back wall of my very shallow closet. i think ive added something to my new years resolution list....

and to prove my point i wrote out my resolutions and put them next to my bed. just below "procrastinate less" i wrote "become a slightly more organized person. " i will tackle this tomorrow...hehehe.

a sad state of affairs..

2009-01-08T23:56:00.001-06:00

dear life,

i miss you. lets be friends again. it would be fun.

love,
bodelou

the sad sad tale of the pretty jeans

2009-01-06T13:46:00.003-06:00

once upon a time, there was a girl who was cute. not too cute, but cute enough. but she then gained a little weight. during her weight gain she decided she wasn't going to buy any expensive/nice clothing because she wanted to lose the weight so it would be a waste to buy new clothes. but she could still look, right?

one day, while just looking she found a pair of pretty jeans. pretty guess jeans, dark enough to be dress, just tight enough to hug the right places and just long enough to make the cute enough girl look tall enough. she splurged, against her better judgment, and bought them. (and the price! albeit not a steal, was still on sale just enough that it was justifiable...)

she took them home and loved them. she wore them rarely, so they would stay in good condition, not lose their shape or color and not become a pair of regular, any-day jeans. she washed them by hand and hung dry them in her bathroom, she hung them up in the closet with the clothes she never wore (which was a pretty big deal considering she was a pro at leaving everything on the floor.) they stayed pretty for a while. even through the time when she was supposed to be losing weight but was really overusing her kitchen aid mixer instead.

then one day, the cute enough girl's boyfriend decided to wake up early and take a shower at her house instead of leaving early enough to take one at his. so he took a shower, and moved everything that was hanging on the shower curtain rod on the floor, including the pretty jeans. he took his shower and instead of hanging things back up, he left them on the floor and on his way out of the shower, he knocked over the bottle of drain-o that he needed to use the night before on the clogged sink, which he had left out next to the shower and not closed the cap.

the cute enough girl happened to use the downstairs bathroom later that morning for her daily rituals and with the door being shut did not notice the drain-o puddle that was on the bathroom floor. thirteen hours later, she went to take a shower and noticed the pile that collected on the floor. she cursed under her breath and picked up the jeans, to see the bottle knocked over and the bleached white stain on the pant of the pretty jeans. the no longer pretty jeans. she mentally shed an imaginary tear or two, because it is impossible to find the perfect pair of pretty jeans. irreplaceable. she then cursed at her boyfriend some more and decided to go to the gym.

and they all lived happily ever after. kinda.

such a sucker

2009-01-05T23:12:00.002-06:00

there are three things in particular that i am such a sucker for

1. cute babies. i have the cutest nephew. he was one of the best parts of christmas. he lives in Connecticut, otherwise known of "the lady of far away" not too far away from "the pit of hell." this makes our visits few and far between. the harsh reality of saying goodbye was the fact that he will be walking and talking the next time i see him. soo much growing i miss over here in the midwest. but seriously, he is the damn cutest thing!
he is in love with the second thing i am a sucker for...

2. my damn cute dog, woody. they love eachother. my cutey little nephew would invite the kisses, and woody would unconditionally give. matthew would lean in and close his eyes while woody clobbered his face. when he'd had enough, matthew pushes him away with his hands. combating the love with every ounce of sass available. the two are a perfect pair.

3. (unrelated to numbers 1 and 2) Sappy period piece love stories (usually the cinematically cheesey ones) such as troy and tristan and isolde. i cant really explain why, but for awhile after my nasty breakup, i'd sit in bed watching them before i fell asleep, to assure the tears would flow. it was like a given, every damn time. tonite i was feeling a tad moody, so i popped T&I into the dvd player, hoping i could let loose some of the emotions/stress that are all plugged up. and not a single tear has fallen, not even in the parts that guarantee a worthy moment of pity. i think i ve seen them both close to fifty times and i've used up my alotted tears. yet still, i can't turn it off. im still stuck on it. james franco's jawline is just too enticing ;)

i confess, im a sucker for things that make people weep. shitty love stories, babies and puppies. how very stereotypical, yes?

good start to 2009?

2009-01-05T15:25:00.003-06:00

i admit this is the conversation that took place this morning, via Gchat, at 930am with roomie/landlord/sister

bodelou: i am having a really hard time convincing myself to go to work

Maryevelyn: oh my gosh, you and me both

i did NOT want to get up this morning

bl: no like really

M: i contemplated taking a sick day

bl: i am considering just not showing up anymore

i hate it and i don't want to do it anymore

M: at the dr. office?

bl: i am supposed to be there in 30 min

and i am still in my pjs

M: how long is your shift today?

bl: not long. haha. i just hate it so much

Mary: well i'm sorry it's not working out

does it have potential to get better?

bl: i hate working everyday of my life, i hate that they expect me to rearrange my restaurant schedule which pays more, for them

M: ahh

bl: i need a voice of reason

to tell me its a terrible thing to no call no show

M: it is a terrible thing. and you should go, at least today.

me: yeah. ugh. i should you are right. i should be a responsible adult.

which i am never a fan of

Mary: haha, yeah. i don't like it most of the time either

well, go to work today, and then think about if this job is really worth your time, and if it's doing anything for your career, and then re-evaluate

because nobody says you HAVE to do this job. but you do owe it to them to show up :)

i ended up going to work. and i felt good about it. until i was reminded of my 620 meeting which got me to thinking of leaving mid-shift, wondering the point inscheduling events if i decide not to show up anymore. i dont know if im cut out for this two job thing. and to top it all off today's work was disheartening and unsuccessful.
________________________________________________

in better news, i went to see jersey boys yesterday with p. it was the christmas gift i never expected but loved! i am a musical junkie and couldnt help myself with this one. i hear chicago is coming to town in february.....sounds like a good valentines gift to myself, if ya ask me!

new years.

2009-01-03T23:54:00.002-06:00

everyone out there in the greater "blog-o-sphere" has written about their new years resolutions, ridiculous party extravaganzas including snapshots of the champagne toast. i cannot provide such fine festive delicacies. instead i offer a sad story about the way i spent my new years eve and meager and pathetic wishes for 2009.

i spent new years eve working, as expected. it is, unfortunately a hazard of the business. not a big deal. i did however, prepare to walk in the door of my house as the numbers were counting down (like last year) so i bought my favorite champagne to greet me! dadly, i missed out and it is still waiting for me in the fridge until i have the best time to give it a whirl. i had a table that sat around until 12:50 (they sat at 9:30, we closed at 10 and they ordered at 10:30) i had a sip of champagne at 1215 with a co-worker, right before they left leaving me alone in the restaraunt with a lone manager. honestly, i was mad, annoyed etc. but i was just too tired to really care. i didn't even make it home actually. i ended up at P's house a few blocks from work. exhausted and falling asleep even before getting a new years kiss. i think i may have my celebration tomorrow, complete with a countdown and champagne toast. (we'll see)

this year i really dont expect too much or hope for a lot. just the following

1. health
2. independence
3. love

take what you like, interpret what you must. they don't need much explanation

milwaukee trip + some

2008-12-31T00:35:00.003-06:00

yesterday and last night were busy (workwise) and today was busier.

the best part was the trip to milwaukee i made this afternoon/evening with mom. we went to see the grandparents once more before they head back to Arizona where they live for most of the year. it is always good to see them, even if the trips are short lived and far between. the better part is talking to mom on the way there and deciding what random histories we will ask about during our visit, and then the drive home where we can gab and gossip about whatever there may be to gab and gossip about. (plastic forks for christmas dinner at Aunt K's! UNREFINED! SACRELIGIOUS!)

i like watching my mom interact with her parents and really anyone. i see more and more of myself and my sister in her and her mannerisms. the Ex told me once that we made the same facial expressions when we talk and i didn't believe him at the time but now i see it. the way she tilts her head or scrunches her brow. she gets excited when she talks about the past, talking fast and louder, but still articulating every detail right down to the color of the lamp shade in a particular room that she remembers from a relative's house she visited when she was young. i imagine i will be a lot like her when i am older, only slower, and more....southern? hehehe.* during college when i was taking yoga classes i was telling her how much i enjoyed them and she wondered if she would like them. "no mom. you can't be busy thinking during yoga. you couldn't calm down enough to get anything out of a yoga class." she still doesn't understand my explanation, but those of you who know my mom and know yoga would understand.

she's a wealth of family knowledge. she remembers a lot, asks questions, and has researched quite a bit. i remember, even as a kid, that these trips to wisconsin to see my grandmother or any relative for that matter, mom would give me another chapter in the family story, which relatives had done what with their lives, what memories she had of the relatives i couldn't remember or never knew, why things were the way they were. and today was no different. i heard the story of how my grandparents met and the way great grandma edna's house looked long before it was packed up and stored away in some farming shed in Edgerton.***

i hate sometimes that i don't have more time to go visit my family up in milwaukee. they aren't that far away, but schedules make it so difficult to see anyone. i would love to go back to the houses we used to visit when i was a kid, just to see what they are like.

we spent christmas at my Aunt K and Uncle C's house, which happens to be the same house my mother and her brothers grew up in, with the same chiropractic clinic attached off the kitchen. they bought it from my grandparents when they moved to arizona. this was the house where i spent all my Christmases as a kid. My grandma (and mother) have a way with decorating for the holidays and every year it seemed more magical than the previous year. now, going back (after not seeing it more than twice in about 6 or 7 years) is a surreal experience. its cold and plain. small, empty and sad. not quite the expansive home full of fun hiding places and stories older than dirt. i used to think that there was no better place to have a christmas, and i was really in support of the idea of returning our family celebration there, but this year i realized it is not the same and that plain and simply, while there is no place like HOME for the holidays, its not just the people that make it home or the structure, but the life we breathe into both that makes it home.

next year we are probably having christmas at the townhouse my grandparents bought in milwaukee last year. i can't wait to see the presents in the sleigh, and eat dinner off of REAL CHINA (OOOOO! ahhhhh!) and have christmas lights and snowman line the walls, with cute little doxies running beneath our feet*****

(christmas photos courtesy of my sister:)
photo 1. my mom and her first grandbaby
photo 2. my sweet sweet grandparents and nephew (their first great grandbaby)

pst. a photo of grandma opening her letters has been added :)

*mom is constantly on the go, she's always drinking coffee, she's a work-a-holic, early riser who really never stops to relax. even when you think she is relaxing she is planning a meal or emailing VIA her blackberry, making a grocery list, or buying christmas gifts in advance. she must have 2,000 lists in her brain at any given moment of something she has to do, buy or see. this is very much the opposite of me. the lazy susan. **particularly my favorite relative, my grandfathers mother, Edna who could have a blog dedicated strictly to her life.
***her house was a living museum, with everything from 40 year old soda bottles, to army uniforms, and a 1920s hat collection stored away in one of many rooms leaving hardly any room for walking.
****their triumphant return to the midwest, albeit for only a few weeks out of the year
*****because really, there is no such thing as a home without a dachshund, certainly not in our family.

random things i am thinking today

2008-12-29T13:47:00.002-06:00

i keep seeing advertisements for a contest to win a trip to the set of a specific tv show and interview the cast. i am trying to figure out what about an actor (or a group of unimportant actors) is so fascinating that it would be considered a prize to interview them? they are merely characters created by someone else. what is so compelling about that? if you broaden this out to win a trip to meet any celebrity i don't think i could think of someone who it would be worth it. maybe a world leader or inventor, because what about a musician or actor or writer for that matter, do you not already know everything about based on todays obsession with media? they've already been asked a million questions already and they certainly aren't going to give the kind of answers you are dying to hear. what is with this weird phenomenon?

i was dreading going to job #2 today. well i was dreading it last night. and i finally figured out why. its something i am totally not used to. its been awhile since i've had this kind of discipline forced onto me. i am not accostumed to having projets that continue over days, i am not used to sitting quietly in an office and focusing without distractions like soda pop or internet or music or friends to chat with. restaraunt work is so much different than office work. bleh. it makes me feel reserved and closed up. i dont like that feeling.

i was thinking about how this job is a good oportunity to go back to school. the problem is what? okay the real problem is money, haha, but the other problem is to do what?

with this in mind a lot of people i know are becoming engaged recently. i don't know what to think of this. maybe i should go to school to find a husband. enroll in a medical program, meet the man of my dreams and drop out ;)

i got a new tea kettle for christmas from patrick because my other one died awhile back and i was still using it. this new tea kettle is great, except it makes a really strange sound. instead of a whistle, it hums. almost like the way a torando siren sounds from far away. it is taking some getting used to, but i almost prefer its non-offensive warning.

all the build up

2008-12-26T12:56:00.003-06:00

all the commotion, all the shopping, all the chaos. and now? its over.

its so funny how christmas is built up and up and in the end, it passes so abruptly.

yesterday was well spent, with the fam, good food and snow. oh the snow! in the past week we've gotten so much snow, but when we made the annual christmas trek up to milwaukee i found that they got twice the amount that we did. i've never seen snow piles so high.

i gave grandma back her letters for christmas. she acted like grandma, not the way i wanted her to act. completely unsentimental and slightly embarassed. " oh my goodness! you didn't read these did you?" she asked "well i hope not, they are so embarassing. and they all say the same thing. 200 letters of the same thing" later she whispered to me "these were the ones i lost on purpose. its the other ones that i like to read" and as she handed them to my grandfather to pack away in the car "take good care of these, i don't want them to get into the wrong hands. these are priceless little treasures" grandma doesnt show emotion very well. it was sweet nonetheless.

its been awhile since i've blogged, ive been so busy with holiday crap and work. oy! work. yesterday was a much deserved day off, regretfully i must go back tonite. cross your fingers that i am cut...

anyhow, i hope everyone had a good holiday, i hope everyone got what they wanted. my presents this year were all complete surprises, since i asked for pretty much nothing. as much as i pretend to hate them, i love surprises. there, i said it. don't tell anyone though, it could change everything...

this is just to say...

2008-12-17T13:48:00.002-06:00

that even though i claim to be overworked, the holiday rush has gotten me and before i knew it,
i was on the phone with my manager saying that i would love to come in for tonight's shift if they needed me.

where do these insincere comments come from?*

we got about twenty feet of snow last night. okay, maybe not twenty, but you get the idea. it was a lot, and it didn't stop falling. it actually managed to stay pretty through most of today, something that usually doesn't happen. thats really my big issue with snow,** when it gets all mucky and dirty. it never stays pretty for very long.

it started snowing yesterday around... 1230ish? and it didn't stop until oh i don't know, this morning maybe? i've never witnessed such chaos during a storm*** as i did yesterday. there were no plows on the roads, nobody shoveled our walk, and people were driving like idiots. even though there was four inches of snow on the road unplowed people still could not find it in themselves to be cautious or snow savvy.

finally the roads were cleared, at about midnight. at least from what i could hear! our stupid complex didn't get plowed until the weeee hours of the morning and it sounded like they were using three story-tall bulldozers from all the racket it was causing. i had beenup since 5 and while i should have just fallen asleep from my exhaustion, i couldn't keep my eyes closed for more than thirty seconds because of all the noise. i may invest in ear plugs if the forecast for the winter continues on a snowy path.

in more positive news,
i LOVE getting christmas cards. i've gotten two already but i haven't checked the mailbox yet today. which reminds me...

but in all seriousness, its always such a pleasant surprise to find a little note from a long lost pal tucked away inside a pile of bills. it makes my day just about every time. so if you want to send me a christmas card, i assure you it is welcome!!!

*my bank account?
**other than the cold, the wet and the drivers and the fact that its so damn bright and having to wear snow boots and scraping off my car in the morning...
*** except for down south, where a flurry creates a city-wide lock down.

its a sign of the times

2008-12-16T09:39:00.002-06:00

apparently it is 10 degrees outside, yet it feels like 0.

really, if this is what 0 degrees feels like, i would imagine 0 degrees to feel more like hell.

i have been super busy and overworked, as usual. okay not as usual pre-december 1, but as usual for post-december 1. my next day off is christmas day. how awesome is that? no really, dont hold back your exclamations...

since it has been awhile lets get rid of a few housekeeping issues:

today i would like to honor my dear friend maryevelyn, who turns 25 today and apparently because of this has a reduced rate on her car insurance. what more could a girl want on her birthday? CHEERS to you, ms. roommate/landlord/sister/bff! there will be drinks had at a later occasion, hopefully this evening, if not then sometime after i get my life back. maybe christmas day?

last week i spent the snowstorm in the BIG city with all the wind and homeless people, except i had a really freakin' good dinner. brought in part by mom's bday and rick bayless' stroke of genius...also known as topolobampo. dear god, who knew that guacamole could be so fantastic? we ate and ate and ate some more. as you may know, i am a foodie, through and through (as is mom) so it was an exceptional time. the best part of dinner? i can't decide between the specialty margaritas (one was habanero infused so it had a nice lingering spice and the other was vanilla, sans lime juice and a little anaise flavoring..tasted like cream soda) or the sweet corn bread pudding. i have never had anything that tasted exactly what i envisioned a little slice of heaven to resemble. so scrumptious. photos at my flickr. (observer badge to the left of the screen) we did nearly die waiting for a cab outside the train station, between the bitchy people grabbing the cabs we were hailing before we could take a step, and the horizontal snow, but we lasted and drank and were happy.

no i don't want anything for christmas, so stop asking already! i would rather eat a bunch of homemade cookies before i begin my new years diet, which oddly enough is the first time i've done such a thing, but i promise the results will be fantastic. i just will have to give up some of my foodie habbits. boo.

the first of my 7 am meetings was today, and frankly i wasnt that impressed. it seemed pretty lame, going and talking about businesses with other people at such an early hour. the only thing that was worth it was the one presentation made by an insurance agent. i know nothing about insurance or how it works, so it was a little interesting to learn a thing or two. its been awhile. other than that, i felt stupid and out of place, and i don't like weird people who want to sell me greeting cards and mary kay talking to me. it makes me feel bad that i am not interested.

maybe i will get to this thing again in the next week. i doubt it. chances of snow are high and that means i have to spend more time in my car on my way to job 1 or 2 and less time relaxing.

"to my violet eyed beauty"

2008-12-12T11:53:00.005-06:00

i really have a lot to do and a lot to write about since i was last on here.

but not much time, so i will make it quick...

dad just dropped off furniture from milwaukee that has been sitting in an attic for over forty years. maybe close to fifty?

my uncle bought the house that he and my mother grew up in about 15 years ago from my grandparents and slowly over time they've been unloading forty years worth of memories, furniture etc. i think the last thing to go made its way to our neck of the woods today. my grandmother had set aside a small little vanity for me that she wanted me to have. its nothing terribly amazing, just an antique piece of furniture, the first piece my grnadmother bought for herself. she mentioned it to me awhile ago, but i had forgotten it was there.

i discouraged dad from dropping it off because frankly, i just don't have the room right now. but apparently neither does anyone else, so he dropped it off anyway. its cute, a little rickety but cute. i need to spice it up a little, maybe with a glass top or upholstery around the rim. anyhow, i was checking out the three little drawers just now to see if the knobs needed replacing or the track needed to be greased. they were all in good shape, but to my surprise i found one drawer still full of my grandmothers belongings. by belongings i mean over a hundred letters written to here from january until october of 1955 by my grandfather. a bundle full of love letters! they were written while he was at the Palmer School of Chiropractic in Davenport, Iowa and she was living with her Aunt in Chicago. They must have been about...25 at the time? Based on the postmarks, some letters were written on the same day, but really most of them are two to three days apart, very consistently.

i really wanted to open them and read them, but i just don't feel right doing it, seeing how both of my grandparents are still alive. there was one however, out of the envelope that i caught a sneak peak of and it was so sweet. i've never heard my grandfather be romantic. he's not necesarily a stern man, he's fun loving with a great sense of humor and was always a fantastic storyteller to my sister and i when we were young, but i've never seen him be romantic. he calls my grandmother "grandmother" or "mother" he's conservative and old school to the t. like an episode of "leave it to beaver." although looking back now on how he was when i was younger (fun, youthful and silly) vs. how he is now (old, thoughtful and reflective) is very different. anyhow, i called mom to tell her what i found, something i wish i hadn't done, because she wants me to return them to her to give to grandma,(how selfish of me, considering they are technically hers,) but i think i will never see them again and i really want to have them so in the future i have a little piece of an unexpected love story.

i remember mom telling me about the way my grandparents started dating. she was not interested, actually dating someone else, and he was relentless for awhile, maybe it was a few years? and eventually, she gave in and went on a date with him and fell in love. my grandparents have been married over 50 years, my great grandparents lived until their 78th anniversary, is it weird to wonder if love like this still exists?

a letter to whom it concerns...

2008-12-09T13:17:00.002-06:00

dear second job,

really, i love you. i think we are going to get along great. i'm glad that we can help eachother, you with my resume, me with your lack of personnel, need for PR, and just an extra touch of greatness. HOWEVER, i am really not sure about your most recent request. ya know, the one about that once a week meeting. the one that wasn't in the job description. ya know, the networking group one. that's really a great idea, getting to know other people in the area, different business etc. really! i am supporting this decision. but.. and you know there is a but, i don't how i feel about participating...at 620 in the morning. I hate to inform you, however i think you may already know based on my constant yawning and the sleep in my eyes, but i am a night person. nor was i aware that my hourse would be different than 9 to 1. those are the hours i signed up for, and while i am willing to change these or make an occasional exception. 620am is an EXTREME exceptional. If only you weren't so freakin' nice. i would maybe put up a fight. but since i like you too much and can only see this going in better places, i will stomach that 6 am wake up call and fight on through it. just be aware, that i am not a fan of your requests. and next time when we have a drs luncheon, at least gimme a chip. just one tortilla chip.

yours forever,
bodelou

2008-12-08T13:55:00.002-06:00

i don't really have much to post about lately. because i am burnt out. or slowly burning out, whatever you want to call it. so instead of posting something terribly exciting and earth-shattering, i am simply going to post more recent photos, mostly from Triple C's visit!

we had to do our touristy thing, at the bean. yeah, they are blurry. i don't know how to entirely work my camera without a flash, specifically at twilight hours when the flash looks terrible.

kiss kiss. the funny part is i have a photo that looks nearly identical to this from the night that we met eachother. its pretty remarkable because we've changed hairstyles, weight and fashion choices a lot in five years, but somehow, we've made it back to where we were before. some things never change!

did i mention we went to my favorite sushi place while she was here? its called swordfish, and its in the worst of places, batavia, IL where my fam lives. its a lame town in general (although there are some readers who may disagree) but really the only things it has going for it are swordfish and those disagreeable readers :) anyhow, we had a cute waiter, who we met up with later ;) shhh don't tell. and we were fed a remarkable meal. on the right is the special roll of the evening called the Lobster mountain. honestly, i can't remember everything that was in it, but i think it was snow crab, avocado and snapper inside. and it was covered with this amazing creamy sauce that had lobster meat, green peppers onion, and roe on top. oh my god it was the most amazing sushi i've ever had. we also had the crunchy muffy, which isn't in the photo, but is also amazing. a a very contemporary take on sushi : Shrimp tempura, tempura crunch & cream cheese, baked with mozzarella cheese melt on top. who does that? melts cheese on top of sushi???? its one of the best things i've ever eaten. i highly recommend this place, and i would imagine that their two sister stores in other areas of chicagoland are just as good.

one of my favorite things about triple C is her ettiquete. shes my soul-sister/platonic soul-mate. yet our differences couldn't be any more noticable than our similarities. we compliment eachother in all the right ways. anyhow, one of the first times i went anywhere with her we went to an all-you-can-eat crab buffet. and she couldn't figure out the utensil situation so she laid the crab leg on the table and slammed it with her elbow until the shell broke. i looked on in horror, and slid down in the booth so nobody would notice me, but the damage was done as she erupted into fits of giggling. "what? i was raised in a trailer park!" was her response. since moving home, to chicago, i've been working at not only a "finer*" dining restaurant where we specialize in seafood. fresh seafood. meaning, we of course have king crab legs. huge delishish succulent alaskan king crab legs. so naturally i brought her into my workplace, took this terrible photo on my cellphone where we dove into a nice pile of king crab legs, pre-cracked open and split in half. we continued to get "snockered" off of fabulous speciality martinis and finished it back at my place with beer. always classy. it was nice to be in there on a friday night and not have to be responsible for anything but EATING the food. i've worked there over a year and a half and i'd never had the crab legs. unbelievable!

i'm noticing that a lot of these photos are food related. ahhh! they don't call us BGs** for nothing! anyhow, she has this greatastic shirt on from one of the best places in the world Malaprops a quaint, homey, hippy bookstore in Asheville. the kind of bookstore that you could get lost in a corner of, or find your life's ambition in. its the kind of bookstore i want to own one day. anyhow, she is wearing a shirt from there, which was also a shirt she gave me for my christmas present this year. and yeah, i was wearing it also when this pic was taken. we were matching, proudly might i add!

this was our "on the way to the airport" photo. so sad to see eachother go. hopefully, it won't be so long again, before we see eachother. best friends should not be that far apart for that long. its dperessing and unhealthy, wouldnt you agree?

and the last photo here is from last night at some bar, oh wait, thats right a bar that was closed and opened strictly for my/our drinking pleasure, free of charge! it is nice to be in the service industry and know people who know people who can do shit like this. i can't disclose the exact location, but lets just say its a semi-swankified joint that has a sister store in downtown chicago that has been there for years. we blasted whatever music we wanted, and made sunday night live up to its uncommon potential. its okay, if you are a little jealous. ;)

*this term is used very loosely, ive noticed. i mean, what IS fine dining anyway?
** a term coined during college days, actually meaning "Big Girls" thats us! and it doesn't mean our weight, nor is it a derrogatory term.

things i promised

2008-12-06T02:10:00.002-06:00

the pup all lit up during christmas tree decorating... too precious and definitely not staged. no really....
who has a 22 lb turkey soaked in apple jack brandy? we do :) this is the best turkey ever and my thanksgiving memory for the past forever many years. the recipe is bon apetite. check it out. its yummy and makes the BEST gravy you've ever had

black friday is a new tradition at our house, it involves drinking, and my sexy roommate, and ghosts running at light speed through our kitchen in search of beer. by ghosts i mean pink eye B
the last night before triple c left go home to NC. at a local fridays, doing what we do best, causing trouble!
we went to the pretty nordstroms in the city, where we visited the shoe section, something so beautiful you can't find it in the mountains of north carolina. so we tried on fancy shoes, these shoes in particular were a sweet pair of pradas marked down to a reasonable $300....

more at a later date :)

today's notes

2008-12-04T00:22:00.003-06:00

dear asshole Coworker,

i do not care how much money you made on a party. ya wanna know why? because i worked a double, yes thats right, twice as hard for twice as many hours and i made $59 all day. why? because i am sucking the wrong d*ck at work, the one that gets me nowhere. the one that doesn't gaurantee me good parties and good sections. the one that doesn't require me being all up someone's ass constantly to get what i want. (however, the one i'm sucking is much more agreeable than your cranky ass) if only i could sell weed like you! if only i could work two days a week like you! if only i could call people illiterate yet take a stupid table-waiting job seriously at a ripe old age, like you! maybe i should take a lesson from your playbook in how to be a prick, then i can make more money and switch over from the just plain bitch column.

ever fondly,
bodelou

----------------------------------------

dear thanksgiving,
i miss you like a fat kid misses cake. no a fat kid on a deserted island. not desserted. let's be friends again sooner rather than later, because i could really use the comforting right about now.

sincerely,
bodelou

----------------------------

dear 2nd job,
why are you early in the morning? why do you make me do homework? why do i feel like this is school all over again, except with money involved. why do i have to cold call? and why do people get so uptight on the phone? im not selling anything. im trying to give away free gift certificates and chocolate cake! who doesn't want that shit? seriously.

see you soon,
bodelou

----------------------------------------

dear snow,
i love when you fall and make the yard look pretty. i like the way you smell, and the way you mute the sound like i really DO live in the middle of nowhere. i really appreciated you when i was in north carolina because it meant i didn't have to go to school where you were in town, and sometimes i even got out of work. you were so convenient back in those days. i wish you would melt before you got all dirty, slushy, and mushy. its not a good look for you.

best wishes,
bodelou

finished...

2008-12-02T22:26:00.003-06:00

the tree is up! it looks amazing :) pix tomorrow, or the day after. i have no days off this week. OY. gotta love the life of a second job.

a note...a footnote to yesterday's post....

my credit card is in good standing, we're talking hardly even a statement. if he had offered to pay the hospital, that would be a different story.

okay my lover is getting anxious to watch law and order, svu...he's on a countdown to releasing the pause button.

december 2

2008-12-02T14:23:00.002-06:00

started the second job
looks like its going to be great, not great fun, not great money, but great experience. as much as im not looking forward to sitting at a desk of an office with only a handful of other people around, and as much as i don't like cold-calling (luckily its not too often) i am excited! something REAL i can put on my resume! hell yes :)

its cold in here. so finally it feels like christmas, so finally i can go get christmas lights and such. pictures of turkey, pie and christmas lights to be posted later

i was thinking about how much i miss living at mom's house so i can benefit fully from thanksgiving leftovers. i may make sweet potatoes and corn souffle this week, just so it feels real.

whew! (in parantheses...)

2008-12-01T13:55:00.003-06:00

it was one hell of a weekend, with my soulmate- platonic soulmate that is.

some things i will touch on later when i have more time, other things are not safe to be posted ;)
i was (mostly) a good girl. i didn't spend too much money, i had a few (too many) drinks and did some (crazy) things i normally wouldn't have done, but you only live once, right?

its snowing (again) and im crossing my fingers (again) that i dont have to work. four days off was absolutely amazing. however i can predict that won't happen again for a LONG time, especially considering i got the (second) job, meaning my time to myself will be less (and less and less)

dad was just here putting a shelf up on my wall (finally) and before he left he asked me what i wanted for christmas. i told him nothing that i needed. he threw out the idea of a check to pay off my credit card with. to which i said, thats definitely not something i need or want. i hate christmas gifts that are things i would normally buy myself. a real gift is something thoughtful, that i wouldn't even think to get myself. right?

its time to catch up on my google reader, my book, and my DVR.

we'll make this fast....

2008-11-28T19:54:00.002-06:00

its a quickie, buts its something none the less, right?

things i love/am thankful for
-turkey, stuffing, gravy and mashed potatoes. i love thanksgiving it is my favorite holiday
-cute shoes, like the prada kind. even if i can only afford to try them on....
-best friends who i am so happy to have visiting me/living with me/missing me (because i love them all dearly)
-cameras to capture memories i cannot remember
-pie
-king crab legs and sushi. oh man, that shizzy is delishish. now i know why people come to where i work and eat it, because it is sooo fucking good.
-lemondrops and such.
-wonderful weather for a wonderful day in the city. i think chicago is beautiful and i can't get enough of it. and i cant wait until i can afford to live in it. it isn't NYC, but they don't call it the second city for nothing
-exes. sure they are exes, but i have a great ex and mostly he has a great family, who i secretly love more than i loved him. haha, did i just write that out loud? wait...

thing i dont love/things i am ungrateful for...
-friends who are shady or laclk sincerity. but actually, i just hate my addiction to them and the good times i have with them. its not good and terribly unhealthy.
-black friday and blackout wednesday, etc etc.
-boring conversations
-the weekend passing too quickly
-stupid bussboys from work who are mean and make up lies about me
- the fact that i let all of this shit bother me even on vacation!!!!

busted for time

2008-11-26T09:17:00.003-06:00

here i am about to blog about my problems. the fact that i wasted my time on watching sex and the city instead of cleaning, that i was looking at cute shoes instead of grocery shopping. the fact that i have to make a dessert before tomorrow, but i have no time to do it. (any ideas for a thanksgiving dessert beyond pumpkin pie?)

and then i realized that there are people out there that are having much harder times than i am, albeit my times aren't that great beyond the nonsensical worries i have. what a selfish person i am, and thinking about that i have to remind myself that people have it worse than i do sometimes makes me sick to my stomach.

i want the world to be better now. not in four years, twenty five years, etc. now.

2008-11-25T00:40:00.000-06:00

"It's a strange thing to say, because I'm at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways, it gets worse. That's what I would say"- michelle williams

i can't help it!

2008-11-24T15:37:00.002-06:00

when i should be doing things like cleaning my room, laundry and organizing my closet i get a little lost and end up surfing the internet, watching sex and the city and eating a donut. (chocolate frosting with sprinkles of course!)

while doing this i decided that if i was given $10,000 i would pay off my debt and buy a pair of these

i can't help it. i may not like to wear makeup everyday, i may not have the best sense in fashion, i'll admit it (granted my budget limits me to what i can afford which leaves most of what i like out of the question) but one day i will own a pair of these ladies, and wear them as often as i can. even if its just around my house while i clean and eat donuts.

monday woes

2008-11-24T11:55:00.002-06:00

even though the likelihood of working tonight is very low, i still hate today more than i should.

its Monday, and i woke up AGAIN with the same sore throat i have been trying to combat with excessive amounts of tea, orange juice and rest. lets not even dive into the topic of the cramps that miraculously appeared once i started being productive! i was able to fight it off last time around halloween, and was lucky enough that it never hit me really good. im sure its just been festering inside me until now, waiting to strike when it was the most inconvenient.

my best friend from college is coming to town on Wednesday. its been almost two years since we saw each other last and i am beyond excited. however, the way i am feeling is really putting a damper on all the things i have to do first. i need to clean! my room is a disaster area. i need to shop, as i am in charge of making something for thanksgiving. i need to plan our weekend out! ah! the worst part about having someone who has never been to chicago come and visit, is that i have to figure out things to do to entertain them, show them around. things that are a. fun b. relatively cheap and c. won't take forever as our time is limited. keep in mind this is also the busiest shopping weekend of the year, travel weekend of the year, etc. etc. black wednesday and black friday as well. so the city is going to be a mad house. so my question is...

for those of you not from here:
if you were coming to chicago what would you want to do?

for those of you FROM chicago
what would you offer up to your guests?

HELP!

wtf

2008-11-22T12:59:00.002-06:00

seriously?

its a boy!

would you really name your kid after a fictional character who is a kid raised by wolves*...or what we all really remember as a disneycartoon character?

celebrities need to stop giving a shit about the press their random baby names get, and consider the kid for a change. i guess its the paris hilton syndrome where anything that is cute and can fit in a purse is a pet and it should have an equally cute name. weird.

*i think there's some sort of sick hidden message here.

GOOD morning bodelou! (in ringtones)

2008-11-22T11:40:00.004-06:00

literally seconds after my alarm went off ("ITS BRITNEY BiTCH*") my phone rings ("down to the wiiiire, i wanted water but i'll walk through the fiiiiire**") and its my interview-ee calling to tell me that our interview/test-run-of-the-job-outing is canceled because she is sick, yadda yadda yadda. naturally, i was disappointed about this initially. i really want this job. okay, at this point i'd really want any second job, but this is kinda-sorta in my field so it looks great on paper.

but then i remembered/felt/tasted/endured through the three lemondrop martinis from last night. you see, sometimes i have no control when it comes to lemondrop martinis, as certain former roommates who have witnessed the effects can attest*** so one leads to two, which leads to three, and before you know it i am ordering them by the half "hey mary or evelyn, can i get a half a martini?****" and no they dont give me a weird look, no they don't laugh at me, no they don't stick their pretty noses up in the air, like most naperville cats would do. they just bring me what i want, a half a martini. so while i may have said three lemondrops, it is entirely possible i had like 4 or 4.5. i lost track. anyhow, when i first woke up it was bad, and then once i started movin' it seemed like i would, in fact, make it through the day just fine.

on the way to retrieve my car from the lot i left it in last night i was buzzed again via the Ex ("what hurts the most, is being soo close"*****) to which P gave a startled expression because he recognizes the ringtone, its owner, and the connotations that come with the song. P is still sore over the Dukes incident. which was the reason the Ex was calling to begin with, a little game of catch-up since Dukes was in town. i didn't answer, because that would only be more awkward than i need to explain. on the way home, without P in the car, i stopped at starbucks to get one of the new holiday drinks starbucks' marketing department is whoring out this time of year. and that is the real reason for this post:

the salted caramel hot chocolate.

it is delishish. no, fantastic. which, coming from someone who a. doesn't like chocolate b. doesn't like salt and c. doesn't like overpriced coffee drinks from starbucks, says a lot. however, as noted previously, i am also the girl who can't stand blue cheese or olives, but LOVES blue cheese stuffed olives.

the best part? the caramel and salt topped whip cream. could it get better than this? there's something about salt and caramel that i really love. try melting a caramel square for a few seconds in the microwave on top of a saltine cracker, it is paradise.

this little cup of goodness, brightened my day, and inspired me to take my time spent moaning around the house at the mercy of cramps, catching up on my overflowing google reader, trying out the new gmail themes and reading my book. that one that i mentioned weeks ago and still haven't finished, and that people keep asking me about.... yeah, THAT ONE! (hint for those of you, i know your ISP, from new zealand, who keep returning just to see if i've answered the name of the book yet, click on that link, and order yourself a damn copy and stop googling it)

oh, gotta go, the fam is calling *insert law and order theme song here* dun. dun...dun dun dun du-dun.....dun dun.

*my second alarm, being my dog, whining and telepathically sending me a memo saying, "its woody bitch"
**can't get these vultures off of my back...its so appropriate for a ringtone ;)
***the effects being that i leave long rambling nearly illegible love letters (what great alliteration!) i do the dishes, and sometimes take my workpants off in the living room and forget them there...what can i say, im a creature of habit!
****thats right, the two cocktail waitresses at the local watering hole also happen to be named the same as my roomie/landlord/bestfriend/sister. its always such a fun thing to comment on while im half in the glass...im sure they are sick of it by now
***** i know, thats terrible that i still have an incredibly cheesey sentimental song as the ringtone for someone like him, but i can't help it. plus its one of few country songs i really love.

are you missing teeth?

2008-11-20T14:40:00.002-06:00

when i am PMS-ing my pet peeves are magnified. im sure most females would agree with this statement. one of those pet peeves is the way people eat. and im not talking about eating out, just plain old putting the food in your mouth, chewing and digesting. this has nothing to do with my work. so for those who don't know, here are etiquette guidelines for your convenience and mine.

1. do not chew with your mouth open. it is disgusting! this is a given, but you would be shocked at how many people, friends and family don't get it! i have a great story about this...continue reading.

2. do not "bite off more than you can chew" seriously, the food isn't going anywhere, slow down and take smaller bites. its better for your digestion, your appropriate consumption, and my well being. nobody wants to see half of the piece of meat hanging out of your mouth!

3. use a napkin- and keep that shit in your lap the napkin is there for a reason, don't use your sleeve... and if you do use your napkin remember that i invited you over for dinner, but i don't want to see your snot, excess condiment wipe-age or anything else next to my dinner plate or yours, thats nasty.

4. you've mastered closing your mouth while you chew, but why is it that i can still hear you chomping? i don't understand how that happens. can someone explain this to me? its like hearing your molars mash down on eachother, while making a grunting noise. its like listening to my dog eat. my dog who can't control himself because he clearly belongs in over-eaters annonymous. i can't STAND the noise of someone chewing, even if their mouth is closed. just slow down and be a little more curteous and a little less... animalistic?

5. how about not using your fingers to get those last half-bites left on the plate? where is this ever acceptable, except when you are alone on your couch watching tv at midnight with a snack! P does this and i nearly vomit everytime. for crying out loud, that's what the fork and knife are there for. scoop it up biatch, and not with your filanges!

and now for the slightly humorous story....

i've always had these eating pet peeves. so way way back in the day(i was about 15) i was eating dinner on my grandmother's porch in Arizona with my lovely siblings LLB and Cracker, as well as my sweet cousin Haircut. Cracker and Haircut are the same age(about 7 or 8,) seven years my junior and nine years to LLB. LLB and i were commenting on the way in which Haircut was eating his dinner.

bodelou: haircut, hows dinner
haircut: its good
blou: yeah, it sure SOUNDS good.
LLB: comeon, give him a break, he's just a kid.
blou: fine, but can you at least try to chomp less and close your mouth more?
HC: yeah i'll try.
cracker: *snickering*

about five minutes passes...
HC: *CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP*
blou: come on!! thats so gross.
HC: I can't help it. thats just how i eat
blou: *an idea is hatching* HEY you remember that lady that we met yesterday who lived down the street?
cracker: the one without the teeth?
blou: yeah.
hc: what about her?
blou: you know why she doesn't have teeth?
cracker and hc: no why?
blou: grandma knocked 'em out!
hc:whatever. grandma wouldn't do that.
blou: well, she came over for dinner one night and she was eating like you. so grandma knocked her teeth out.
LLB: its true.
blou: you see that jello on your plate?
hc: yeah, what about it?
blou: those aren't nuts in that jello.*
hc: what are they?
blou: that lady's teeth. all because she couldn't eat politely.
cracker and hc: ewwwwwwwwwwwww! Its not true is it?
LLB:yeah it is, go ask grandpa.

my grandfather makes an entrance

HC: grandpa, bodelou just told us this story about grandma knocking out that lady's teeth because she didn't eat politely. she's just telling us lies.
grandpa: no, thats true. thats what happens when you don't use your manners. your grandma is real feisty.
blou: i told them about the nuts.
grandpa: oh sure. watch out you two, or you're next!

since then, both Haircut and Cracker have vastly improved their table manners. it's about time i shared that story with more people. if only they were as gullable as seven year olds.

* my grandma went thru a stage when she thought it was appropriate to put just about anything in jello including nuts. in this particular case it was walnuts.